Le Mot Juste

I'm not dead. Thank you!

2007-08-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm actually writing a blog post.
That must mean one of two things. I might have met and must have been dumped by yet another woman and I have come here to whing about it or I must be trying to write a term paper. Sadly, faithful readership, it's the latter. Most of this exalted readership is already a part of my friends' list on Facebook (yes, I have no one but me to blame), so they knew I was alive. Anyway.
Here I was innocently, actively procrastinating and I land on youtube and in a process that is as inexpressible as time-warping, I land on a couple of videos of Demetri Martin. I just had to say a couple of words about his dry sense of humor that is (thankfully) not overtly sexual. Instead, his jokes are the intelligent kind. And he does all this with the accompaniment of a guitar and sometimes a harmonica, which he also merges beautifully with his jokes. I have actually seen him come up on The Daily Show, but that doesn't exploit all of his excellent potential. And according to his wikipedia article, he's quite smart too. Hoping for the best for him Definitely recommended.

HP7

2007-07-23T15:25:00.001-07:00

Got the book on Saturday evening. Finished it by Sunday night (with church and a dinner for two made by yours truly included).
I haven't read so much at a stretch since, oh I don't know, HP 6. It was fun nonetheless. Not my favorite of all but still pretty good.

Seriously, Ahmadinejad what were you thinking?

2007-05-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

I hope you've heard about this. Iranian president comes under fire for kissing the hand of his former teacher who--they make sure to mention--was "wearing thick gloves, a headscarf, and a long black coat".

My Obituary

2007-04-30T20:29:00.000-07:00

This was my assignment for this week for my positive psychology class. Writing your own obituary is kind of humbling... I decided to be a jerk and post it online. Here goes.

Always smiling, he could brighten anyones day. His never-ending quest for knowledge made him a walking encyclopedia and a source of endless trivia--roles he clearly cherished. He loved everyone and loved to be loved by everyone. After a successful but unsatisfying stint at the Wall Street, he moved to a career in which he was close to the greatest things he loved--books--where he brought knowledge and information to everyone who asked. Through all these years of work, he hopes that he has made a difference in the life of at least one person. In the age of specialists, he was clearly a generalist and loved to have a finger in every pie. He has done everything from tree top camping, to maintaining a successful blog, to writing the novel "that was always kicking around" in his head. A patient ear, an indomitable spirit and an unflinching grin were his trademarks. He was just one big shoulder, on which anyone could shed their tears, lean on and move ahead. He went out very much like how he always lived--in style-- and we will all miss him.

A birthday gift....now???!?

2007-04-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

Whoa!
My dad just sent me a Blackberry!
Being the party-pooper that I am, it got me thinking that he might actually be reading this blog. I clearly remember mentioning it here.
Whatever dad, I'm just going to incidentally mention here that a MacBook Pro is going to make me stupendously productive.
*carelessly whistles while staring at nothing particular, acting totally nonchalant and tapping foot*

हिंदी पोस्ट!

2007-04-12T15:07:00.000-07:00

अरे बाप रे!
This ROCKS!
As you can see, I just typed in Hindi. This was not done using ultra cool software or anything. This is a new feature just rolled out on blogger. And get this... I typed that in ENGLISH and it transliterated itself.
I typed in "Arre baap re!". Seriously, how coolisdat?
So, let me just ~~steal~~ find the words of my favorite Ghalib Ghazal to celebrate this occasion.

Here it is...

दिल-ए-नादान तुझे हुआ क्या है
आख़िर इस दर्द  की दवा क्या है

हम हैं मुश्ताक और बेज़ार
या इलाही ! यह माजरा क्या  है ?

मैं भी मुँह में ज़बान रखता
काश !   पूछो  की   "मुद्दा क्या है" ?

जब की तुझ बीन नहीं  कोइ मौजूद
फिर ये हंगामा, 'इ खुदा ! क्या

Note: If the ई matras are kind of mixed up, it's your browser's fault.
Here's an exhaustive list of things to do.

NMUN, SIDS, Project PEACE and other obscure acronyms II

2007-04-01T12:25:00.000-07:00

Meltdown Tuesday:
{Tuesday's child is full of grace;}

On Monday, I wasn't able to get as much sleep as I'd love to have, for Tuesday was going to be a long day.
The committee was scheduled to begin at 8 in the morning and continue till 11 at night, with about an hour and a half for lunch. We, being hyper competitive, needed to be there and "place our placards" by 7... so we got the seats we wanted and the break was supposed to be a "working lunch" so that we work with people and develop our reports.
I began the day with a five shot venti caramel mocha. I knew I'd need it.
It was officially the second day and we did not have any supporters outside a select group within the AU (African Union) which was mostly garnered by my partner alone. So, technically, I did not have anything to show for being in the committee. And the committee as a whole was going nowhere. It was divided among various blocs all of which focused on the region's specific issue. The delegates from Iraq led a group of Middle-Eastern countries focusing on desertification. Russia led a group of Eastern European nations focusing on a UNWTO certification, (which is a good idea but too specific).
That's when I decided to go overdrive. I found out that my partner was among the first speakers to speak that day. I quickly developed a broad framework within which any country could function and develop their own ecotourism project. Mauritius happens to have one already. [By the way, I can find no definitive website/wikipedia article on this project.... I think I will need to write one]. Even using our Uni's databases I wasn't able to find much on it. During research however, I came across this one book that was a publication of the UNWTO itself and it had articles on several eco-tourist facilities in a whole list of countries. Mauritius was among them. I realized how important this book would be and tried to get it.
I couldn't get it anywhere.
I found through worldcat that there was a copy in Texas A&M University. Bingo. I have a friend there who agreed to email me those 7 pages (that is fair-use). At the Conference, these seven pages were worthier than gold.
Anyway, I built a framework and called it the PEACE project
(which stood for
Poverty Eradication
Environmental Conservation
Awareness of existing projects
Conservation of local heritage/culture
Education of natives, tourists and personnel
My plan was to make everyone connect Mauritius with the PEACE project. Taking a page from Goebbels' notebook, I wanted every member in the AU to talk about this project in their speeches. During that first session, 12 speakers spoke about the PEACE project how Mauritius came up with it.
I know. I know. This is way too competitive even for MUN and the whole educational aspect of it is lost. But our University has been getting the outstanding delegation for the past 14-15 years and they might lose it if any team loses in even one committee.
The effect of the PEACE project was phenomenal. The director was very happy with our work. He wanted a consensus and we had the broadest framework of all.
Mission Accomplished.

Coming next:
What about Tuesday night?
and would the lack of sleep finally take its toll on our delegate? Or will Nitin brave it all and give a scintillating performance even when he's dead tired?
To catch this and more... stay tuned for the next episode: Ash Wednesday

I so disagree with this...

2007-03-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

This is a small and upcoming search engine. Even though I'm the hugest fan of Google, I usually don't neglect new search engines. So, I just give them a try. If only to size them up against Google and feel satisfied that GOOG is still the king.
But this new search engine is just wrong.
According to the guys at Jobacle.com

Webmasters or Web site owners can control the position of their listings in the directory by bidding high. The more you're willing to pay - the higher on the search engine you'll appear. The top 10 listings are shown on the homepage, while the top 20 listings are shown on the top links page.

This absolutely kills the democratization of the Internet that Google tries to do.

NMUN, SIDS, Project PEACE and other obscure acronyms I

2007-03-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

Last week was spring break. I was not lying on a beach somewhere sipping margaritas. Nor was I in some obscure library/bookstore. Nor was I doing my homework. I attended the NMUN, which for the uninitiated stands for National Model United Nations. It is the biggest competition of its size. And the whole thing was totally awesome.
I might do this in three episodes I guess.
The bus ride is almost uneventful. We check in our rooms in Sheraton. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, I pass the exact spot where I had called GTSA before embarking on this journey. So even if we're technically incommunicado, the ball is in my court to return her call. So, I actually call to tell her of the reason for calling her and about the competition. I know, lame.

Bloody Sunday:
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

We find that unlike every year, the opening ceremony is going to be on the second day instead of the first. And that's supposed to make sense. Oh and some Presidential hopeful called Hillary Clinton usurps the room where our committee is supposed to meet. So we're transferred to Hilton... by that I mean, we must walk two blocks down the road to Hilton.
So we had a pretty rough start as far as the first sessions go.
Turns out, I'm going to be the first speaker of the day. Knowing this... I begin to hyperventilate.
I churn out some canned speech and think that I can remember it all and go there in front of everybody without my notes. Only to forget most of what I have to say. I remember the beginning and an excellent finishing line. And blob through the rest.

Monday Night Raw
{Monday's child is fair of face.}

We were supposed to have the opening ceremony on this day. I discovered that our blankets are troublingly staticky. And throughout the day, whatever things I touched, I'd get a nasty shock. The opening ceremony was nice but very short. The wait and security check outside the UN was longer than the ceremony itself and so it kind of pissed some people off.
At the committee, it was the second day and most people still didn't know where Mauritius [which we(my partner and I) were representing] was or much else about it. I tried to get the Small Island Developing States (SIDS) together, so that there might be some group that Mauritius could be leading. And SIDS are spread throughout the globe so that could be a significant plus point.
So, I first tried Cuba. Now Cuba as we all know, has this very 'unique political structure' and they were unwilling to join us at all. Pffft.
Then I found and tried Jamaica. Jamaica was a double delegation and both the girls had very genuine concerns. Let me explain: at any competitive MUN session there are two types of people- the players and the 'lost sheep' (I know, we're kind of mean about it). The players totally know what to do and are very strategic (aka sneaky). The 'lost sheep' are the people who are so awed at even coming to New York, the UN, Sheraton and all that glitz that they have no clue whatsoever to do. Let me make it clear that we're not either of these. We are here to win, but we refuse to be sneaky.
The delegates from Jamaica (if you remember that's about whom I was talking about) were however, neither of these two groups and they did not seem to want to win either. Their questions were well thought out... kind of a critical look at the whole process. And it was one of the delegates who kind of dominated the whole conversation too. So as any girl who actually portrays critical thinking ability would; she piqued my interest (aka I had a crush on her).
But my agenda wasn't working. I couldn't find Bahamas or Costa Rica that day and the idea of bringing SIDS together was a flop.
This was a brief session and it was over before we could make any more progress. It was 11 pm at night.
However the night was far from over.
On Sunday, most people had apparently made a lot of noise. Due to which the hotel management decided to provide an entire hall downstairs for people to socialize or to relax.
BAD IDEA MUCH?
Imagine a hall full of teenagers from all over the world. Yeah.
I went there initially to check whether the Jamaican delegate would show up. Once down there, I meet my partner. We then sit together and he brings out beer and pours it in a cup for me. To appear polite, I accept and slowly sip it. I look around, she is nowhere to be seen. The night has just begun, hasn't it.
An Italian/German/English birthday song later, more alcohol is brought down. A group of people (including my partner) start playing flip-cup. And people are chugging beer all over the hall.
I leave the place after I hear the director coming down and announcing "Delegates, please do not have sex on the floor".

This is Jon Stewart's take on MUN. Note this is the MUN I was part of too. His studio was just a couple of blocks away from our hotel. Darn, I should've gone there.

Coming next:
Meltdown Tuesday:
Where, I come up with a plan to bring the whole committee together
And Mauritius is on the lips of every person.
And more in the next episode- "Meltdown Tuesday".

Budday.

2007-03-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

March 12 was the "Happy" birthday. I had two midterms and a Model UN simulation that same day. It was destined not to be good from the very beginning.

March 11, 10:30 p.m- I return from work, eat dinner, settle down to revise.
March 11, 11:00 p.m- I'm sleeping on the open text book, face down.
March 12, 12:00 midnight-
phone rings.
I jerk awake. Who could it be at this time? Already feeling stupid for having slept, I pick up my phone.
"Happy Birthday" says an exuberant voice.
"Thanks" I said listlessly, still unable to put a finger on whose voice it is.
I'm about to ask who this is. But she seemed to know me well, and it would seem so rude to ask.
"Were you sleeping?" she asked.
"Oh, not at all." I said, feeling like a jerk.
"It is your birthday today isn't it?" she asks.
"Oh, yeah, it is".
Only then I get it. It is her.
"Hey! thanks for calling." I said, a little more excitedly.
She seems relieved to discern a return of the usual vigor in my voice... I assume.
"I just want you to know that even though we are not talking anymore, you can still call me whenever you like." she said.
"Um, okay, sure, same goes for you too." I say.
"So, what are you doing for your birthday? she asked.
"Um, nothing much. Having two midterms. That's about it." I whined.
"Aww. Really, you'll do fine."
"Have a great year ahead." She said.
"Yeah, sure, I'll try."

Nothing better happened beyond that, except I discovered that it's extreme fun to repeat "happy birthday" to people who wish me. Their face and confusion is priceless.

Oh and the midterms sucked.

Persistence

2007-03-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

Found this here as an example of motivational poster parody. Pretty cool.

By the way, I have two midterms, my birthday and a four hour grilling UN simulation tomorrow, and I'm looking at de-motivational posters.

Are you reading between the lines like I am?

Being Brought to Account

2007-03-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

I try as hard as possible to fit into the whole finance subculture. Most of the times, I just fail miserably.
Like two weeks ago we were in Manhattan and I was in charge of finding Fulton Avenue. En route, I would look at the street names and try to remember them. We passed “wall street”. And I just grinned—imagining a street with walls on both sides and no …. wait wasn’t that the Wall Street? And I asked my friend who was driving, whether that was the Wall Street. He said it was. Ooops.
The other day, my Money and Banking Prof was talking of financial firms. He looked at me and asked.
“Tell me what you know about Fannie May”
“They make good chocolates.” I said.
He was stunned and did not ask me anything else. I will make the perfect dreamy financial analyst.

Just had to share this one.

2007-03-03T07:56:00.000-08:00

Even though I'm no longer in a long distance relationship. This one's just too true to be ignored. This is from my other favorite web-comic. PhD- piled higher and deeper

2007-03-02T23:53:00.000-08:00

I just uncovered this piece from one of my earliest writing. I think I wrote it about two years ago.
Now, I'd have found myself to be totally hoity-toity.

Nobody wants having what is good for them- Jane Austen

What You Want is Within You

Musk is a familiar perfume. Many of us might even know from where it is obtained- a gland of the musk deer. The search for this enchanting essence has almost driven this animal into extinction. But the argument of whether or not we should continue hunting these animals is not the purpose of this blog.

A musk deer, not knowing the origin of musk, went about searching for it. He forgot hunger, thirst and sleep in search for the source of smell he adored but could not yet attain. Traversing rivers, climbing mountains wandering through the forests, he went about searching for the origin of the perfume.

Weeks passed by, the musk deer still hadn’t found the source. Then at a distance, he noticed a group of hunters. He quickly turned around and jumped behind some bushes, unaware that there was a sharp, jagged stone just behind them. He landed straight on the rock and slit his belly. As he lay there dying, he finally discovered the source of the bitter perfume. What he sought was within himself.

Things that you desperately seek cannot be found anywhere else. Nor can anyone tell you what and where you should seek. Do not misunderstand, I’m not talking about material things. There are things far more important and elusive than physical objects that serve us and give us pleasure.

For instance, I know many people who know they can climb higher in their careers and life if they can master the art of public speaking. They buy books, CD’s, go on seminars. In other words, do everything that does not actually include talking in front of people. They fail to look into themselves, that’s where the changes need to be made, and that’s where their progress is to be evaluated

So today, look into yourself. That’s one situation, place that you can totally change. And the happy news is you must change it.

A peacock that rests on its feathers is just another turkey- Dolly Parton

Schmooze Train-ing

2007-02-16T17:30:00.000-08:00

I work in a campus that is about 20 minutes away from the one I study in. I usually take the train from one to the other. Trains are the loveliest modes of transportation in the universe just because of the fact that they contain people from all stations in life (pun intended). For example, once I sat next to a person who was humming to himself and writing music. I didn't talk to him but it made me very happy to know that people like that exist, outside of the movies.
And the station I aboard from is extremely pretty (it's Pleasantville after all). There is a waiting-room upstairs with bright metal chairs, that are intricately carved to look like regular furniture. I mean a sofa, a small coffee table, and a book lying upside-down- all metal- it's hard and cold on your bottom if you try to sit on it when it's three degrees outside, but well it's pleasing to the eye.
Anyway, I was standing in this waiting-room when a well-dressed black man comes up to me and asks which track the train going to New York City arrived on. I point it out to him with my right thumb. He then asks the time the train would arrive. 4:43 I reply (and it does, each and every time, except during this snowstorm).
We drift apart and we wait.
When it's 4:40, I climb down the stairs and stand on the platform. He comes and stands next to me.
"Are you in high-school?" He asks.
"No, college" I say.
"Really, what are you majoring in?"
"Uh, finance"
"Get outta here. Really?"
Smiling. "Well. Yeah."
"I myself work in a small financial firm in Manhattan."
"Wow." (for the Manhattan part, not the 'small financial firm')
"Yeah, so, what is your goal?"
There it was the golden, unrelenting question. But this time I couldn't just shrug like I do whenever my dad asks me the same question. I had to deliver pithy sentences with ideas and motivation crammed in so that it was as hard as constipated goat-droppings. The trouble is I never had any goal. Ever. Not for 10 years hence. Not for tomorrow. Not for tonight's dinner. I don't even wanna be in finance. Indeed, taking my recent activities into account, you'd think that I'm more interested in the stalk-market.
"Well, in the long run, I'd like to do CFA and handle personal portfolios for clients. My short-term goal is to get the feel for corporate finance and figure how they work." I said, shocking even me. Trouble was I didn't even know what CFA stood for, I just remember some guy talking about it. Times like this, I wish I had a Blackberry, just so that I could check Wikipedia on the go.
Thankfully, he seems pleased with the answer and starts talking about his own work and firm. Something to do with retirement plans, 401-K's and all that good stuff.
By this time, the train arrives and we sit together. He opens his briefcase and gives me his card, tells me that they hire interns if I ever thought of doing an internship. Then he shows me his firm's brochure. Now, listening I can do. That's my core-competency. And so I listened.
My station arrived and I got off. Reeling under the pressure of having met a person who actually worked on Wall Street.
Ah... public transport.

It Being V-Day and all.

2007-02-14T20:26:00.000-08:00

While everything appeared calm on the surface of this blog for a couple of days. Heated discussions were going on in the underbelly. Choice of words, intentions, revenge, were being talked of.
Yes, exalted readership, the saga of "The Girl Three-States-Away" continues. Hopefully, this is the season finale.
Anyway, on the abovelinked post, She posted a comment. Now her very arrival on this blog is material enough for a post. I understand, it's got something to do with bookmarks.

This is what she commented "youre SO wrong. and its really unfair the way youve twisted this in your sorry favor. you refuse to think of how much I would miss our entretiens. you DELETE me from everything. that was a sweet thing to do. i would not have even stumbled on to this page if it wrent for my Periodical Review of Bookmarks. the nerve."
I'm fully aware that having her comments posted on the main blog like this is like parading her around. Since, I've been called flawed, this post shall not be yet another rant. I'll instead focus on the ultimate good times we had together and tell you why cherish her. Even though, she may never read it, this is my public apology. And the final bouquet. Sothere style.

Dear GTSA;
You think I don't miss you? Whom am I going to tell all the fascinating things to, which others don't give a crap for?
You were there for me in those darkest of dark hours. Now when I'm out in the sunshine (winter sunshine... our own little private joke) I don't have anyone to share it with.
Don't be hard on yourself that all this went horribly wrong. Like that cliche, we were never made for each other- even though I always believed that one makes themselves for the other, I guess it's only this far that we can go.
You really were special.
I'll think of you often, and always with tenderness.
I'll miss you always.

(I hope you manage to) love,
Nitin

P.S: Relationships are to use your own analogy, like a heckuva roller-coaster ride. I had immense fun, but I'm glad it's over and hell or high-water or Elizabeth Hurley, for that matter, wouldn't make me want to do it again.

Does Caitlin Roran ring a bell?

2007-02-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

If you have used Gmail Caitlin Roran should seem familiar. If you don't use gmail, you have no clue what you're missing. Anyway. Caitlin Roran is the person who appears on the cell-phone image on the left hand corner of the gmail page. Someone wrote a wikipedia article about her(?), but it was deleted. An awesome read.

"Caitlin Roran is a fictional character (or advertising character) devised as part of a Google advertising campaign. The ad was created to promote Google's Gmail service and its availability via mobile phone. Caitlin's name appears as having sent the second email from the top dated September 13 regarding a surprise party.

The surname Roran seems extremely rare in the United States and may be nonexistent outside this ad.

However the ad has been seen by enough Gmail subscribers that a Google search for the name will turn up at least one Web site dedicated to keeping track of these searches.

Caitlin's e-mail appears in bold typeface, and is thus yet to be opened by the owner of the phone. The email at the top of the phone's display, from Buck regarding a recent trip to Hawaii, is also bold and thus unread. Buck's message also appears to have a file (or files) attached (presumably pictures from Hawaii, but possibly some other type of file).

It has been suggested that Caitlin does not represent a real person but is a name attached to a spam message. Buck's message is under similar suspicion. The messages from Susan (third position from the top) and Nathan (fourth from the top) seem less likely to be spam, as their subject headings are less typical of computer-generated spam subject headings.

It's not clear if the recipient of Caitlin's email is the organizer of the "surprise party" or is one of the guests. It is also possible that the recipient is the party's honoree and is being informed of the secret plans -- though, for what purpose is unclear.

According to one theory, Nathan, whose name appears next to the message "BBQ on Saturday," is the party planner and the party is to honor Buck, the author of the simulated email about having just gotten back from Hawaii. The owner of the phone possibly is Buck's best friend and the boyfriend of Susan, who is trying to make plans to have sushi.

If the owner of the phone is female, however, the sushi plan suggestion is more difficult to interpret.

Another question that has been raised about this ad is whether the "BBQ on Saturday" might happen to be on the same day as the "Surprise party." No day of the week is given for the surprise party, giving rise to the possibility that Caitlin's and Nathan's mutual friend (the owner of the phone) could have a conflict between the two events. Of course, even if they were on the same day, they could be at different times, which would solve the problem.

It's also noted that the owner of the phone responded to Buck's e-mail about his return from Hawaii and to Susan's message about plans for sushi but ignored the messages about the BBQ and the surprise party. One could assume that the latter two messages were sent to a mass list of guests and did not require responses. Or perhaps the person has not responded to either message because both events are scheduled for the same time (presumably in the afternoon of September 16, 2006) and the person has not decided which one to attend.

The interface shows only two unread messages, a sign that the phone belongs to a person who has recently signed up for Gmail.

Judging by the content of the messages, the owner of the phone is likely between 20 and 40 years old and has at least a moderate amount of disposable income and leisure time. There is no evidence that the person is employed or has any interests other than planning events.

Judging by the month (September), the event (BBQ), and Buck's travel destination (Hawaii), the owner of the phone likely lives in Southern California, where an email advertising a fall bar-b-que would be so ordinary as to merit no response.

The tentative nature of the sushi plans with Susan also suggests that Susan is likely the significant other or close friend of the phone's owner, or at least someone with whom the phone owner socializes frequently enough to make spontaneous plan making possible.

Of Late

2007-01-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

I sometimes work Sundays. I'm a college student and I'm poor. Yeah.
So on Sundays, I come to work directly after church. That means that I'm usually unlike my sloppy peers because I'm wearing my Sunday best.

This Sunday, it was about 10°F (which for you metric junkies is a balmy -12°C ) outside with winds even lower. And about the time that my work got over, my cousin called and told me that he was running late by about an hour. The building would be closed promptly at six. I'd die of hypothermia if I chose to stand out.
My options:
The Mall- I'll have to walk for about 20 minutes which is really not worth it. And I'll end up buying something I don't really need.
The train station and then to my home. As an option it seems quite good. But again, it was a thirty minute walk to home.
It was then that I noticed the fancy restaurant across the street.
Okay, honestly, I didn't think this much. As soon as I hung up. I looked both ways, like my mom always told me to do, and crossed the street.
I just intended to stand in the entrance. So I could see my cousin and not become an overcoat-wearing popsicle. As soon as I entered, this waitress opened this door for me and asked me whether I had a reservation.
"No" I replied honestly
"That's alright", She continued, "Where would you like to be seated?"
"By the window"
"Alright, here we go"
She handed me a fancy napkin rolled over a fork and knife. I took it and thanked her.
About five minutes later, this asian waiter comes up to me and says;
"Good evening sir! Would you like any drinks? Or are you waiting for someone?"
"Yes I'm waiting" I said
"No problem, please ask for Ron whenever you're ready to order."
"Alright"
I called my cousin and told him to call me when he's about five minutes away.
Meanwhile, I sit there, staring at all the couples eating, counting the fancy bulbs on the chandelier, staring at the rich carpet and just plain waiting.
Twenty minutes later, Ron comes up to me again and asks whether I'd like to order anything. I repeat myself and say that I'm waiting for someone.
He gives me a glass of water, unasked. I get a new thing to play with. The condensation on the outside of the glass is fascinating... really.

Finally my phone rings. I answer it and start walking towards the door.
Ideally, I'd have loved if no one saw me leaving. But, well considering Murphy's Law, someone just had to. Ron greeted me and asked whether I was leaving.
"Yes," I said "she stood me up."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
"It's all right. It had to happen I guess."
I had to try very hard to maintain the straight face. I cross the road, jump into my cousin's car and burst out laughing.
My cousin looks at me quizzically.
"I had a date" I explain.

An Update...

2007-01-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

..on the romance situation.
Again borrowing from xkcd, I found this strip. (If you don't get the humor, 'userdel' is a Linux command to totally delete a user and all the associated files from a computer).
I did something similar today by deleting all the messages and emails and numbers and memorabilia that belonged or in any way reminded me of her.
I had called her yesterday to tell her that I'm totally over her (and also to give her a piece of my mind). But couldn't because just when she said hello, my cousin walked into the room. (I could've just walked out but I was lying, covered in blankets and didn't feel like moving.) Furthermore, she was at some lame party or something, not the ideal situation to be talking of mismatched goals.
Anyway, we hope this is the end. There is of course a non-zero probability that we might meet again (the world is round after all). But discounting that... we hope this is the end.
P.S: Please click on the image to see it clearly.

The trouble with Wikipedia

2007-01-24T06:21:00.000-08:00

XKCD is my favorite web-comic of all times. It's funny, ultra-geeky and super-snobbish at the same time. For example, its disclaimer reads as follows:

"Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)."
For example, today's comic was titled "The Trouble with Wikipedia". It is awesome.
Image url:

Colbert nailing Bollywood.

2007-01-19T14:14:00.001-08:00

Regular readers may know how much I heart Colbert. If you don't then I'd just say that it I heart Colbert in fangirl-ish proportions. I must admit that the only time I question my sexuality is while watching his shows. Of course except each time I hear Al Pacino's voice, or Dr Cox's rants or see Orlando Bloom half naked ahem, ahem. Enough said.
Recently Colbert started a new section called "We the MEdiator" (sic). Where he picks up celebrity squabbles and decides who should win. I was really delighted when he picked up on Bollywood this past week (Jan 10).

Later that week, he revisits the feud and flips his decision. Still worth a watch.

He has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Which makes it all the more funnier. His perennial serious expression makes me wanna do the unmentionables.

A post, an excuse and a reason.

2007-01-18T14:47:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah. I know... boo.
I said that I wanted to post every single weekday because that was my new year resolution and I wanted to hit the ground running when the new year started. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that because well... that's what this post is about.
You might remember this girl whom I went to meet three states away, which finally turned into a disaster. We had put the whole relationship thing behind us, basically. We were good friends before, and we could certainly remain good friends in the future, right?
Wrong.
Apparently, I was forgetting one of my own favorite quotes- "Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship -never." (Charles Caleb Colton)
We still talked (not for 3000 minutes anymore, but still), and refused to bring up the 'what-might-have-been'.
A friend suggested that I must stop talking to her. But I really couldn't do that. This girl has been my friend ever since I came to the US. We used to talk for 5 or more hours on average, daily; over the Internet. I had never seen her before, but hell, she knew more about me than many of my closest relatives did. Point is, I really couldn't afford to stop talking with her.
But the relationship is still off limits. And I really didn't want to act like a jerk and bring it back up like all those ex-husbands do. One thing I've learnt from life is that- 'a woman's no is a no'. And also 'trust a woman to be as unpredictable as possible".
So, one night I call her, nothing out of the ordinary. It's just eight, so there was no way in hell she would be sleeping now (it was just not her nature). It turns out, she was sleeping- taking a nap. I decided to hang-up, but she insisted that she was fine and that we could talk.
So, since she was sleeping, and mostly sleepy, I decided to apologize for one thing that I had done right after the relationship had ended. Which, of course brought us to the topic of relationships again .
It was then she said that, she (still) had feelings for me.
"Dude, you're sure you're not making a serious mistake?" I ask
I'm absolutely sure that she's mistaken me for someone else. Because this can't be possible... this same girl has dumped me thrice before. Never giving a reason.
She continues to talk, but I don't understand most of what she's talking about, as she's mumbling. So I told her to think carefully and bade her goodnight.
Next morning, when we talked, she asked whether I had called yesterday. I said yes. Then she asked me what we were talking about, because she couldn't remember a thing. I say, I don't either because you were sleepy and just mumbling on the phone. You might've been cursing me for all I know.
The whole relationship thing never came up again. My theory was right after all.
Then she went on vacation with her brother. She had a lot of fun and we didn't speak that often. I called her on her birthday. Her brother picked up the phone. Her brother hates me, by the way, because I spent 3 days with his sister, alone and unsupervised (and in case you're wondering, no, we didn't do the unmentionables).
The brother and I were coldly civil to each other on the phone. He tells me that he'll tell her to return the call. She doesn't. I call her the next night and she says that her brother suggested that we should stop talking now. I ask her whether it was something she wants to do too. She tries to act all democratic and in turn asks me whether I want to do it. I discern that she does want me to say yes... and so I did.
Now, you'd think that it's easy to stop talking to a person. But this was one person with whom I'd shared so much. Everything reminded me of her.
Snow, coffee, ice-skating (she skates amazingly, I barely plod along), basketball (again, she's the basketball player), math (she). Two of the movies I watched were located in Michigan (where she goes to school). Hell, I'm writing this post in Jdarkroom (to write with the minimum of distractions) which has a color scheme of green and black- her favorite combo (a screenshot ).
So the point is (finally) that I was totally unable to concentrate on anything for the last 2 weeks. Good thing it was also the vacation.

PS: And B Dear, if you ever read this and find something wrong, it's because some details are hazy (you'd call that an improvement.) You still are the most beautiful person I've ever met.

Reasons to love new york

2006-12-26T10:53:00.000-08:00

I just found this piece detailing various reasons to love New York. I love all of them especially the fact that people are so packed together that voyeurism can be done at any time anyplace.Lovely

Christmas Morning Post

2006-12-25T07:27:00.000-08:00

'Tis Christmas morning.
What I could leave you with is today.
I can't think of anything better than this video

Okay people... You know what to do.

2006-12-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

Today is Global Orgasm Day (link is moderately safe for work and dignity). Go ahead. It's for a good cause. No really.

Exams are over.

2006-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Exams are over.
A semester is over.
Time to write a post.
Rather, why don't I start a series of posts. These will be called "The Finale Series", where I will be writing about all the things that happened during this semester which I didn't find time to write about. I will also be writing about things that might happen to me in my present life. I plan to update this every week day. So let's hope I succeed. Boo, if I don't.

Pfffft

2006-11-27T09:50:00.000-08:00

Pfffft that's right. That's the noise soccer balls make when you remove the air from them. All I can say is that the whole journey thing was a disappointment.

"There was no chemistry" she said, which when translated into understandable English means that she didn't find me attractive. Sigh, no I won't complain. I won't wallow in self-pity. From what OJ said to me, when I told her about the whole thing, was that I had gotten off easy. She had expected this. Truly speaking, I got over it completely, only after listening to her. Boy, I really was lucky.

The entire thing can be divided into three stages and was alarmingly like a combination of a James Joyce short story and Bollywood:

First stage- Shock

I got off the bus. We both were on the phone, actually looking forward to meeting each other (gasp). After a little bit of mis-communication we actually saw one another across the street. It wasn't New York, but it was surprisingly similar. Crosswalk. Random people all around. The red hand that commanded us to stop where we were.Both of us on the phone on either side of the street- both of us perhaps wondering, "Gosh, that face doesn't go with the voice". Finally the white man, beckoning us to cross. I did. She hugged me, more because she felt she had to, rather than an overwhelming feeling to hug. I went along. Imagine my predicament. I had been on the bus and seedy bus stations for the past 16 hours; deprived of sleep and proper nourishment ( I refuse to count Burger King as being nourishment at all) and she squeezes the heart out of me. Well, it was expected- a hug, typical Bollywood style. Notice that I emphasize Bollywood, only because she hates it. How could she? I know.

We try to strike conversation... we fail miserably. As I had divined, we were subconsciously looking for the green button (the one that signals that the other person is online on gtalk) and felt uneasy in the real world. Or maybe it is because of my apparent lack of any sort of social skills. We amble along while I slovenly try to manage my bag. I was giving the wrong signals from the very beginning.

Second stage- getting used to

We reached her dorm. I started messing her room in my own creative way. I suppose she didn't like that. I imagine she tried looking for things to like in me, but failed.

"Gosh he's not as tall as I'd like him to be, but at least he's thin."

"His hair is messy, why doesn't he ever comb it? I hope he takes regular baths at least."

"But he's too thin... golly, I quit."

I must confess that I too was thinking something on the same lines but wouldn't dare confess them, as she reads this blog too. However, I tried my best to suppress them. I was lying to myself. I wanted this to happen. I had invested a lot of time and money into this... this couldn't couldn't go down the drain.

Third stage- rejection

Finally, on the second day she gave me the pink slip (she hates pink, by the way, trying to be unique, I guess). We swore to remain friends. I must say that we had maximum fun only after the relationship part was done with. We went for a movie- 'The Fountain'. We didn't quite understand most of it, but we were totally amazed by it. Aronofsky's mind is a beauty spot. And the entire night we were just frolicking and having a good time.

I must say that we did have fun.

We had coffee together on the last day. Espressos. She knows that I wasn't the right person for her, I now know for sure (with the help of OJ of course) that she wasn't the right person for me. But we shall remain friends. But I must confess it still hurts at times. And when it does I sing my favorite "rejection song".

Burt Bacharach / Elvis Costello Lyrics - I'll Never Fall in Love Again Lyrics

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you get when you fall in love?
A diamond pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you kiss a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, she'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you give your heart
You get it all broken up and battered
That's what you get, a heart that's shattered
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

And I repeat... at least until tomorrow. God we're like moths.

Edit: Just in case my immense fan-following missed these comments by my ex-luscious-lovely

Bhavya:
lol..my dear dear (friend) Nitin. count on me to avoid cliches. unfortunately a woman's "no" really is a no. i mean, i even asked your magic 8 ball, and the answer to the question was "my sources say no"... all the signs...im eagerly awaiting your next post, infact, id like to propose inserting my email adress in it. just in case your friends want to send me some delicious hate mail. and hun, be nice to me.
and
Bhavya:
oh. and i couldnt resist.
dint i give you a new understanding of the word "dulcet"? lol.. we have inside jokes.

I have no comments to make... except to say that when I checked my magic-8 ball (who's called Joey by the way, and helps to make all my life and death decisions) he said "my sources say no" to me too. He's right and he's verifiable.

Teaser Tryst

2006-11-17T06:57:00.000-08:00

You might remember this post on my brief taste-test with romance. I burnt my tongue and threw the cup away. It was still a good cup, I didn't know at the time.
The post was written just before she came to the US. By this time I had totally given up all hope that this was going to work. That 'we' would work. For, if there is one thing that I have learned from life- a woman's no is a no.... However hard I might try to 'win' her back, it wasn't going to work.
She came here. We talked on the phone. At first, customary, friendly chats, which slowly got longer. Then, a guy tried hitting on her and it struck her that she actually cared for me. Cared a lot.
Sigh.
Although. it was initially a shock when she told me; she being so sweet, the dulcet (the fact that the word 'dulcet' is actually an adjective and I have used it as a noun has nothing to do with this post. Ever heard of poetic license?). It wasn't really hard to fall for her- again. Consequently, our phone conversations became longer. Understand that even if we talked for hours on end (even though, they seemed like few minutes at the time) we were not incurring any costs because weekends and weeknights are free.
Last night, my aunt called me upstairs in her most menacing voice. I ran upstairs. She waved the phone bill in front of my face and asked me what it meant. I stared at her... what did this mean?
Apparently, I had used almost 3000 minutes. She had a problem with that even though it was free. You must understand that I'm not an obsessive talker, on the phone or otherwise. In fact, couple of months ago, my uncle was actually angry at me because I had only used 7 minutes the entire month. So it was a significant leap... and I'm the master of understatement.
But we are still not 'going out', technically. She feels that she can't effectively handle a distance relationship.
This Thanksgiving, I'm going to be meeting her. We decided to not use clichés such as 'rendezvous' or some such to describe our tryst. So we settled on "teaser", for this is going to be a sneak preview of what 'we' might be like.

Getting my foot In-dore

2006-10-29T10:49:00.000-08:00

This post is an honest and exact representation of a dialog I had with my aunt.
Aunt: Shirley Auntie called today. She asked about you.
Me: Really? That's nice of her.
Aunt: She asks of you often.
(Silence for a while)
I think it's nothing. I've known Shirley auntie since I was a little kid.
Aunt: Shirley Auntie told you not to run after any girls. Her elder sister has a daughter who's studying nursing in Indore. She says that the girl is quite pretty.
Me: gasp. What?
Auntie: You heard me. Shirley Auntie's asked for your email address

Who is this girl? She could be a yahoo-using non-entity for all I care. But who cares about my opinion?
Hmph. But there's something so very convenient about arranged marriages. And if it doesn't work out... you could always blame your parents.

Baz Luhrmann's- You're Free (to wear sunscreen)

2006-10-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

I lurrve this song. Totally.

Everyone Must See This! - video powered by Metacafe

Movie criticisms w/o plots

2006-10-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

There are certain movies that just push the boundaries of your definitions. Before Friday if someone had asked me whether I have a "best movie I hate"? I'd have just given the person my best frosty-nosed look. On Friday, I watched "Requiem for a Dream". I watched the movie alone, at around 2 am with ear phones. And it scared the shit out of me. Seriously. I had to call a friend (inspite it being 4:30 in the morning) after watching the movie to calm my nerves. It wasn't essentially horror ( I actually find "horror" flicks cheesy) but it was scary nonetheless. It was fantastically done, with fine acting and an excellent plot/storyline. The movie was quite normal in most ways... the usual sex, the usual violence.
I just had to examine why this movie elicited such a response and found that this movie lacked hope. Most Hollywood movies, even tragedies, give some sort of hope in the end - at least to somehow convey that nothing worse will happen. But not this one. It was just one downspiral.

On Sunday, a couple of friends and I went to watch Don. Trust Bollywood to keep you entertained, I mean really entertained. It is actually a remake of an old movie. As far as remakes go, I'm not too keen on them. But since the former one was done by the inimitable Amitabh Bachchan, and the new one by Shahrukh Khan, I mean the Shahrukh Khan (lovingly called SRK), I had to watch the movie.
The movie wasn't an exact phot0copy though, it really was refreshingly different. I loved it for its own merits. SRK is old though. His face all plastered up. But his energy is just breathtaking.

I went with a couple of friends of my cousin. There was a lady in front of him, and he couldn't really see the screen properly. So we acted like pricks, made loud noises, rang each other on the cell phones till she got up and left. Pack mentatility. But it was so snappy to act like a teenager. I'd so hate teenagers when I grow up, oh wait, haven't I?

I re-meme-ber

2006-10-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes I know. Dear Pan tagged me for a meme. The problem is that I don't use iTunes (I don't normally jump onto the Brandwagon you see) or any other software that actually counts the number of times I play a song. Sad, I know.
So I just needed to take a week or two to check for myself the songs that I really repeat and play, and what I could glean from my now defunct last.fm account and from my Creative Zen.
Furthermore, I feel I must say something about my music history. Back home when I lived with my parents, I didn't have an internet connection to talk of. And neither did I have decent music. My mother, you see, thought that English music was from the spawn of the devil and didn't allow any in the house. I found a way to keep in touch with the world through a couple of good hearted friends who were nice enough to lend me their CDs. Now CDs were contraband in our school and that was the only place we could actually meet and exchange stuff. But we did them anyway. We hid CDs on top of AC's and behind Display Board Charts, somehow got it home. At home they would always be kept within the text book covers. Ha, we were devious little devils as you can imagine.
So now on with the meme.

10. Sting-Stolen car
For some reason, I just love this song. Catchy.
9. Rabbi Shergill- Bulla Ki Jaana, Jugni and other random songs.
He's a Punjabi singer. Okay I don't know Punjabi, and no that doesn't make me any less Indian. His lyrics are Sufi (the translations are readily available online anyway) and his style is like Bruce Springsteen's. Could you really ask for more?
8. A.R Rahman- Random songs including (especially) Tamil ones.
Now, I don't quite know Tamil either, but it's the music that totally gets you. Music director/singer/ lyricist par excellence...
7. Alain Souchon- C'est déjà ça
French. Need I say more?
6. Andrea Bocelli- The entire Amore album especially, Pero te Extrano, Mi Manchi and Somos Novios. Again I don't know Italian. Whatever.
5. Burt Bacharach- Depending on my romantic situation either "What the world needs now is love" or "I will never fall in love again"
4. Neil Young- Heart of Gold
Classic.
3. The Shirelles- Will you still love me tomorrow?
"Tonight you're mine, completely...
but will you love me tomorrow"
Everytime I listen to this song I hope it will be yes... but I get the feeling that it won't be.
2. Beatles- Many many songs.
1.75 Sigur Rós- Ágætis Byrjun
Out of this world.
1.5 Amr Diab- Habibe and Tamally ma'ak
Arabic Pop. Lovely
1.25 Yanni- All. Especially Marching Season
1. Pehla Nasha: Catchy bollywood romantic number...

Pehla nasha, pehla khumaar
(First intoxication, first spirit)
Naya pyaar hai, naya intezaar
(This is a new love, a new longing)
Kar loon main kya apna haal
(What should I do with my state)
Ae dil-e-beqaraar
(Oh restless heart)
Mere dil-e-beqaraar, tu hi bata
(My restless heart, show me)

see?

Now that I have somehow finished the list, I can think of gazillions other songs I seem to listen to all the time. Sigh. Some other time, some other meme perhaps.

Edit: I just noticed the stark absence of any songs from my "mother-tongue".

Those garage bands actually have a point

2006-10-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

Ever since Google bought the old garage where it made its humble beginning, I have been thinking about garages.
American garages are strange places. The first time I came here I was so surprised to find that people actually parked their cars out in the open, and kept all their junk in the garage. Pah, Americans, I would sigh. Yet, garages seem to be the breeding ground for all things ingenious. Bill Gates built his empire from one. And I can certainly think of many bands that began in teenagers' garages. And now Google.
So let us all stop school and shack up in our garages. Finish that novel that's been tinkering around in our head for a while, perfect the programme that could change the world, improve those guitar riffs, anything. Anything that would eventually make billions. I can think of a couple of things to do with billions, can't you?

It's testy-terone baby.

2006-10-08T17:15:00.000-07:00

I watched "The Departed" today. No, don't close the window, no spoilers I promise.
As I was leaving the theatre, I heard this woman explaining to her friend on the phone- "It had a lot of violence, it was like the Godfather" I think that is apt enough. I've always loved the idea of twin foils: one reason I lurved "Tale of Two Cities". It was very interesting to watch the psychological aspect of not having an identity of one's own and living in a delusional world that could be very hostile to their very existence.
Bah. Whom am I kidding? We watch movies to see blood... lots of it spilling and splattering and splashing all over the screen- randomly. And for the sex, with "Comfortably numb" playing in the background... how can I not like this movie?
Matt Damon is utterly cute as the bad guy. But he's easily surpassed by Jack Nicholson. I don't think he's played the villian since Batman. Nicholson is just sexay.
I can't understand why "nice guys" complain that the girls are always attracted to the "off-color guys". Well of course they are, what do you expect? Who wants a weepy stable guy? Gimme an unpredictable, capricious "bad boy" any day. Only creeps and nerds would be attracted to despicably-hair-styled Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code; Albino Paul Bettany on the other hand... slurp. I could give you thousands of examples... but I will restrain myself.

I'm a fan of Scorsese's works. Entertaining as well as arty. His final frame is worth dying for.

I don't like sugary things anyway.

2006-10-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

UNICEF Meeting Two:
I assume my place next to the Sugar Lady I met last week. Duh.
She's obviously okay with it too. At this time I was re-reading "The Great Indian Bores".
"You're always reading. What is this one about?" she asks
"Um, this is written by this Indian editor par excellence. It is about the political situation in India and all. Yep, it's Indian."
"Is it written in Indian?"
"Huh? there is no language called Indian..." then a long lecture about the variety of languages in India.
Then we move out.
I question about her internet habits.
She has never heard of Wikipedia. No, there was no mistake in the previous sentence. She-has-never-heard-of-the-Wiki-pedia. And when I actually tell her about it, she says that it is so random and chaotic, how can it give trustworthy information?
She didn't know the meaning of 'blog'. And she has no email apart from the one furnished to her by the Uni.
Eeps.
Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people look attractive until they speak?

Sugar Lady

2006-09-30T05:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not a very fussy person but I like to do good things once in a while. I've been a part of the UNICEF club at our Uni for a while now. Last week was the first club meeting for this semester and there was a new girl. Now we all know that males are programmed to notice and approach new girls. I'm even going to breach the guy code 273 (which states that guys shall not give away, in part or in its entirety, any section of the guy program) and give you a part of it.

ACTION :Girl walks in
IF girl too hot and/or snooty: [[stare]]
IF girl approachable: [[whaddya waitin' for? talk to her, jerk]]

See? It's all inbuilt.
The only problem is that I'm also inherently shy and don't accost girls even when they look approachable.

The president of the club welcomed her and asked for her name.
"Elizabeth" She says

Okay, flashback time.
Just before embarking on this relationship, I invented this girl who'd signed into our club, and kept talking about her. Just testing waters, you know. I'd named her Elizabeth, apparently after Liz Bennet (whom I'll marry, you just wait and see). So anyway, it was a tremendous co-incidence that an Elizabeth who doesn't call herself Beth or Eliza or Liz for that matter, walks into our club.
I take a second-helping of the salad (yeah, yeah we talk about world hunger over lunch... don't we all love ironies?). I carry my book along with me. And then I do something I've never done before. I suavely walk and sit right next to her. I act as the "host" and ask her how she finds our Uni and whether she'd like something to eat. She replies graciously. We chat for a while. She asks about the book I'm holding. It was David Plotz's "The Genius Factory". The basic premise of the book is the history of a sperm-bank that allowed only Nobel Prize winners to submit. I'm not sure whether sleazy masturbating scientists make an excellent topic for an ice breaker, but it sailed our boat quite well. Then the meeting starts.
After we're done with our lunch, we broke off in groups to spread word about our club. Basically, writing chalk messages all around the campus. Vandalism and propoganda, does it get better? Elizabeth and I walk around looking for places to chalk. She writes first with her yellow chalk and I form an outline around it with my blue one. At some point, she messed up and she swears- "Oh, sugar"
Good Lord, do people like that actually exist?
I snooped around for this girl, and found that she's not even on Facebook (wiki). It is sort of the Myspace for college students. I cannot think of any other person who's not into Facebook. Will wonders never cease?
From now on, she'll be called the "Sugar Lady".

Oh my! those exclamations.

2006-09-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

Punctuations are nice things. You don't have to say them in your mind, like words, yet they perform a very important function in language. We take a mental breather when we see a "." don't we? We tend to furrow our brows and heighten the tone of our inner voice as soon we see "?". And apostrophes and colons and semi-colons all have their very excellent functions. But the exclamation mark... the exclamation mark somehow always gives me the jittery goobles.

Firstly, exclamation marks are so frivolous. Ever received those spam mails with a string of !!!!!!!'s? I mean, whose life can be that good?
There is absolutely no wonder that they use the
exclamation marks as warnings.
Look at that thing. Despicable.

I cannot think of any symbol that is as vain as the exclamation mark. Existing solely to draw attention to itself. How is the patient inner voice supposed to react? With vanity? With passionate emotion (but what emotion?) With sycophantic attention? Or just grovelling indifference?

As you can imagine, I like the question marks. They look cool and curvy. Don't we like curvy things?

What if we changed the question itself?

2006-09-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking since this reading meme about the question- "One book you’d want on a desert island?".
That question is so, um, irrealizable. I mean, yes we've read Robinson Crusoe and we, well at least I, imagine that it would be the perfect situation for reading. You curl up on a self-made jute hammock just within the shadow-circle of the palm trees above you.You stroke your untamed mane and beard from time to time (or in case of women; bring the unshampooed hair in front of your eyes, glance at it and sigh). You flip the pages, serenely take a sip from your coconut and feel good about the whole world. But is it even feasible that they'd not have found you before you've spent enough time fretting, in this age of satellites and GPSs and RADARs and other cryptic acronyms? I doubt.

So this question must be changed to "One book you'd want when you're stuck in the elevator?"
or "One book you'd want when you're in the bathroom and the latch refuses to budge ?"
Well, as long as someone is working on the problem and your escape is imminent (in quite near future however) then the question is something we can relate to...

Sigh, Americans.

2006-09-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

Which countries are in the Axis of Evil?
I think all of them...
God Bless America

Direct Link

Guten Tag

2006-09-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

Just when I'm tidying up this place for somebody's arrival I get tagged to put in a silly picture of myself, by TPF. Well, so be it.

This was a picture taken without my consent (obviously) and it is such a pity that a scandalous thing like it should be circulating the Internet. But well.

So there it is- my table in all its clutterous glory. And my bald head... I'm not like this all the time.

And I know what you're thinking. You're staring at that book in that left hand corner and wondering what it is. Okay, confession time; it is the Da Vinci Code. If you look carefully, however, you'll notice that I'm on Gmail and actually chatting with this person- who said he loved this book. I remember I was chatting with him, discussing the book and actually quoting all the utterly stupid lines. Sadly he still thinks it's good... well some people.

Edit: Almost forgot to tag people. Sophia, Neha and Frankengirl (rise from the dead, FG, we miss you)

Onam.

2006-09-04T15:51:00.000-07:00

In middle school, we had our essays pre-prepared. Most of them were about describing a particular festival. They all invariably started with "India is a land of festivals (which is unarguably true) and the most important one is ___" The blank can then be filled according to the region and religion to which you belong. For apart from being a land of festivals, India also happens to be a land of diverse cultures, each having their own sense of identity and strangeness uniqueness and their own set of festivals.
Onam (wikipedia entry) is a harvest festival celebrated by the people of Kerala, the region of India where my parents are from. I'm proud of my culture and language and all, but the fact remains that I'm not even a trifle good at it. I speak my "mothertongue" with a heavy accent, that others find amusing. I tend to use it only when I really, really want something from my mother or when I'm in a scrape, diffuses the situation, you see.
Well, enough about me, on to Onam.
Like all Indian festivals, Onam also has an interesting epic behind it. To cut a long legend short...
Bali was a munificient, pious and ambitious king. So great was his fame that he was called Mahabali (or Bali the emperor). He was willing to give everything he had, to achieve everything he could. He set up a yagna (sacrifice) for which he announced that he would grant the wishes of any subject who came to him. He wanted to please the Gods so that he may achieve dominion over the entire world. (How naïve the people, who make these legends are, ... the entire world indeed; coming from a culture that forbade overseas travel during those times). Well anyway, the king was very near his goal. The gods were jealous and did not want to share something so important with a mortal. So one of them disguised as a beggar dwarf approached Mahabali.
The beggar asked the king for some land.
The king feeling totally benevolent told him that the beggar could have any amount of the choicest lands in any part of the kingdom.
The beggar then asked for three feet of land. (note: feet here is meant literally)
This was the most ridiculous wish ever. The king wondered not so softly what the beggar wanted to do with just three feet of land. And the king after some persuasion granted him the wish.
As soon as he'd done that, the dwarf began to grow. Within no time, one foot was enough to cover the whole land. The dwarf then raised his other leg and that covered the entire sky (the sheer physics of this antic escapes me too). Now the "dwarf" asked where he should go to claim his third and final foot of land.
The king was humbled and said that since he found no place else, the dwarf could place the foot on the king's head. The god was happy and agreed to grant the king one wish before he was going to crush him. The king asked that he be allowed to visit his kingdom every year just in time for spring. This the god granted. Then he crushed the king.
So now it is in time of Onam that this king re-visits the land.

Onam is quite like Thanksgiving, in that it involves a lot of eating. A-lot-of-eating.
Traditionally, it is said that the Onam lunch which is called sadya (it is a synonym of feast in our language- just to give you an idea of scale) is supposed to have as many as 16 different types of dishes, including fiery pickles, crispy pappadums and banana chips, earthy dals, yoghurt, lots of vegetable stews and most importantly a dessert called Payasam. All this is supposed to be eaten on banana leaves with ones fingers- asking for a fork and knife would be just considered impolite. And trust me, it tastes better with the fingers.
Now to go back to the topic of the utterly delectable payasam. It is generally made from sugar, jaggery, milk, rice, zillions of other things and butter... lots of butter. It is, in one word, heavenly.

We usually get new clothes and money to spend on Onam day. The whole family gets together and we all share the work and do our part in preparing the sadya. Onam is also an inter-faith festival- all religions in our region celebrate it. Most importantly, it is a time of joy, unity and abundance. Sigh, sheer abundance.

Reading Meme

2006-09-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

Thus I've been finally tagged by Sophia, so here goes.

One book that changed your life: Man's Search for Meaning. An Introduction to Logotherapy, Victor Frankl (incidently, today happens to be his death anniversary; your thoughts and findings still influence us, dear doctor)

One book that you’ve read more than once: Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie. This book has nothing but magic I've read it twice (one of the only books to have that distinction) to see if the magic remained on the second reading and it did.

One book you’d want on a desert island: Survive on a Desert Island by Claire Llewellyn. (Which is kind of obvious, no?)

One book that made you laugh: The Great Indian Bores by Jug Suraiya, Times of India columnist and associate editor. Although, many authors ranging from Eric Frank Russell to Grant Naylor and from Janet Evanovich to PG Wodehouse fit the bill, this is the only book that I truly love for being honestly Indian and bitingly satiric. And this is also the first book that I bought with my own money.

One book that made you cry: The Woodlanders by Thomas Hardy. In fact the only book that made me cry. Unrequited love, endless forests, hopeless romance, this one's got everything.

One book that you wish had been written: The one in my head.

One book that you wish had never been written: The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. I cannot think of any other book that is so ridiculous in its premise and so sinister in its implication at the same time.

One book you’re currently reading: Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters , by Steinbeck. Letters written to editor and friend, Pat Covici, while writing East of Eden, which offer a unique glimpse into the mind of a master and the art of writing.

One book you’ve been meaning to read: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.

And some of my own... for garnish.

One book you own that you don't intend to read. Ever: Ulysses, James Joyce. I don't think I'll ever feel qualified enough to read this book.

One book you never could finish: A book on Church history I was forced to read for Sunday School, for apparent reasons.

One book you love to gift everybody: Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom. This is one of those books whose worth increases as it is shared.

The most boring book you managed to finish: The Tommyknockers, Stephen King. I usually don't have anything against Mr. King. But this book was almost too pointless. Towards the end, I was just struggling to finish the book so that I don't have to add it to my burgeoning list of unfinished books.

Favorite textbook: The War Against The Jews, Lucy Dawidovicz

Sadly, I don't think I know 5 people apart from the ones already tagged.

Pointless Time Waster

2006-09-01T21:27:00.000-07:00

I copied and pasted my previous blog post onto Google Translate.
I translated it from English to French,
then from French to German,
and then back to English.
Technically, the result should be the same. Hilariously, it is not. Here goes.

"I tried to find a picture of the notice of this that encapsuates I. Attempts also hard as I, I could not could. I experimented with one of Marlon Brando „a streetcar with the designation demand “, but the sad fact is that I do not seep more fairly with the raw Sexualität than the fact it. And then I found this board completely amazing, i.e., OH of Nancy, rectifies in such a way from me. It does not show Sluggo swimming in the sky and that „not “at the world indicates. I…"

No.

2006-08-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

I was trying to find a Display Picture that encapsuates me. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't. I experimented with one of Marlon Brando from "A Streetcar Named Desire", but the sad fact is that I just don't ooze with raw sexuality as he does.
And then I found this utterly amazing Nancy Panel that is, oh, so true of me.
It shows Sluggo floating in the air and saying "No" to the world.
ME...

My romance doesn't need a thing but a reason (...to finally fade away)

2006-08-22T00:33:00.000-07:00

I had promised romance (and psychiatric hospitals) in the first post, so here they are.

It was a strange sort of relationship. Long distance. But not exactly an open relationship because, well, we didn't try to date other people during it; at least I didn't- was having enough trouble maintaining this one. So, we called it the "No titles, non derivative," relationship, released of course in the Beta phase (exactly like our dear role model- Google). It was designed in such a way that both of us try it and come off it anytime we liked. But were we, or rather, was I emotionally detached?

I wish.
But I was almost prepared for it, in a way that I wasn't for my previous relationships, okay, relationship. Largely due to this epiphany I had while talking to a friend. (I've had too few... epiphanies I mean, not friends)
He had just split up with someone and feeling very suicidal; into drugs and alcohol and all that good stuff. He had to be hospitalized. I met him there.

"God. I cannot sleep." he said "Like when I close my eyes I see her"
"I can relate." I say "But do you think she thinks of you ever? Has she even called since you've been here?"
"um no"
"Why then should you do it?"
"She must be busy or something." He said (Phew these people)
"Listen mate. You were going to kill yourself for her. If she's too busy to care, I think you should rethink your priorities. "

I am a natural therapist. People just come up to me and start telling me their troubles. And I give them excellent advice. Only problem. I don't follow them myself. This time I listened to what I was saying. Wait, all this is familar. I have been there. Not to the extent of killing myself, certainly. But taking myself too seriously in this relationship that wasn't headed anywhere- from the very beginning. Yep that's me.

She's an excellent person and great fun to be with. However I treasure her more as a friend than a ... yeah I'm rationalizing.

I still to grapple with the why question though. The excuse reason that she gave me was just too frivolous and lame. The previous day I had talked to her on the phone; something we do rarely. Maybe I turned out to be too stupid for her. Or maybe it was my penchant for knock-knock jokes. Perhaps I shared too many of them. Or maybe it was my guitar playing, it must've been too cheesy for her. Or perhaps it was the fact that she's going to this über-cool American University (albeit not very close to me), and she didn't want a long-distance relationship lugging her when she could be meeting other über-cool guys. What I'm trying to understand is of course the meaning of it all and I've subscribed to a half-baked notion that is a combination of all the above factors. Healing is on its way.

I'm like the guy who always comes before the perfect guy (*hint* *hint*). So I hope she'll be happy with Him. Oh, wait. That is the point of the perfect guy right? I hope He will be happy with her... which is more doubtful. (Tongue firmly in cheek)

"If she's gone, I can't go on,

Feeling two foot small...

Hey you got to hide your love away."

-The Beatles

(my ultimate guide to all things amoristic)

It's magic...

2006-08-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

Google is such a wonderful conversation opener. It does these great things that leave you gasping. When Google released spreadsheets, an excel like application, which can be accessed through the internet. It was just a beginning to what could be done through the internet. Now Google has released Writely, a similar application that works like Word. Well released is not the word because Writely was independently developed, the best part is that Google now provides them with the required server space. Both these can be accessed remotely, i.e from anywhere on the planet with an internet connection. The best part, you can allow others to edit your documents- in real time.
Internet is all about magic. There are days when I'm tired of seeing the same things over and over again. And then there are days where I find tremendous amounts of magical stuff just strewn around. Librarything is one of those utterly simple yet powerful tools you find around on the internet. It is a book catalog site. Personally, the bookcase of any home is what attracts me. So here's a site that allows you to do just that. Online.

Audio message

2006-08-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

Here’s a ~~diatribe~~ speech of a Harvard Psychology professor. It is hilarious, interesting and informative. You must listen to it if you can shell out 50 minutes. And it is invitingly titled “How to Do Precisely the Right Thing at All Possible Times”.

Quick Tip: you can right-click, choose save target as- save it onto your computer transfer it to your iPod or mp3 player and listen while on the move if you choose to.

Audio Link

Poetry in Motion

2006-07-23T13:40:00.000-07:00

Two poems: Recited and animated.

Edit:Direct Link to video

11th Commandment continued...

2006-07-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

The Internet always fills me with wonder. Its simplicity and reach is amazing. Although, it's not always for the good as TPF eloquently says in this post, but it is important to note that Internet has become what it is because of the element of choice.

This is where Net neutrality comes in. Which itself is a new word. It didn't get a wikipedia article until late last year. Hell, it was coined just in 2005. But if it's not enforced it may certainly change the Internet as we know it. Here's a video, which I think makes the whole concept clear.

Now, combine commercialization with stupid politicians. We have a dear 82 year old Senator from Alaska, Ted Stevens who gave this awe-inspiring speech.

Excerpts: "I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?" (he meant e-mail right?)

"They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.
It's a series of tubes.
And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."

Audio link to the whole speech. It's hilarious trust me. Um, and foreboding.

11th Commandment: Ask not for things you knowth not a shit about.

2006-07-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

That was Stephen Colbert interviewing Representative Lynn Westmoreland. God, how can Colbert maintain that straight face?

Change...

2006-07-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Change as you very well know... for the sake of change.

The Irony of Everything and Silicon.

2006-07-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

I never bought the whole conspiracy thing. That is, unless I'm using a computer. The computer is your enemy. It is designed specifically to hurt you and to give you results that are totally unexpected.
And it KNOWS. For example it KNOWS when you've the big term-paper due so that it can throw tantrums and crash. It KNOWS when you call up the uber-cool software guy to come to your home and fix it up and you find it running smoothly like a Lamborghini on airplane fuel.
"But, but, there was something wrong with it just yesterday... I couldn't finish my paper. It really wasn't working yesterday, believe me." And you end up paying for the uber-cool software guy's time and gas anyway (was he driving that Lamborghini too?).
I work at the University computer lab, which is nice... I get to have Internet gratis during the free hours. So technically, I'm being paid for being online. Though, sometimes people come to me for help. Uh, oh.
This girl had some trouble with her powerpoint presentation which wasn't showing up as she wanted it to show up. I went there not at all sure whether I could help her in any way. I just go there and tinker around with display settings (so that in the end I could just shrug and say that I tried my best... one's got to do something you know.) And I refresh the page and voilà it turns out exactly the way she wants.
"Wow, you're good" she says.
I shrug and say "Aww.That was nothing. Do it all the time."

Wonder if the uber-cool software guy has the same travails with his personal computer?

I'm so tired..

2006-07-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

... of not blogging.
Anger, that's what I felt towards the whole world one fine day and decided that it could do without my opinions and rambling I said. Deleted my blog, and kept quiet for a while, and then noticed that the world wasn't noticing. Not fair, I cried.
I asked this pretty friend of mine if she'd like to blog with me. The whole c0-authorship thingy you know. Found that she didn't give two hoots either. Not fair, again. So I slumped back.
Then one weekend I went to what used to be my cosy corner on the internet.... and surprises of surprises. Yonkers Dog Day Care of all the holy bamboozles. What were they doing littering my corner? Shoo. I love dogs and all and they deserve as much day care as we do (or did), but I certainly don't want them marking off their territory their own special way. Which I noticed they had done already. That was the last straw. Stupid gits. So not fair.
And then I reconsidered starting off with something named like flamingbananas or footrolls (which could be read as either foo-trolls or foot-rolls by the way; though don't ask me what they mean). But after some thought I decided to stay with defenestrated ego. I'm quite attached to that name. I'd so name my child something like that. Though my new avatar comes with a hyphen. Now it's more understandable I guess.
Lots of things to talk about. I'm teeming with things. Romance, tornadoes, Summer schools, psychiatric hospitals not necessarily in that order. Sometime later. This poodle has run off with my slippers.