No.

I was trying to find a Display Picture that encapsuates me. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't. I experimented with one of Marlon Brando from "A Streetcar Named Desire", but the sad fact is that I just don't ooze with raw sexuality as he does.
And then I found this utterly amazing Nancy Panel that is, oh, so true of me.
It shows Sluggo floating in the air and saying "No" to the world.
ME...

My romance doesn't need a thing but a reason (...to finally fade away)

I had promised romance (and psychiatric hospitals) in the first post, so here they are.

It was a strange sort of relationship. Long distance. But not exactly an open relationship because, well, we didn't try to date other people during it; at least I didn't- was having enough trouble maintaining this one. So, we called it the "No titles, non derivative," relationship, released of course in the Beta phase (exactly like our dear role model- Google). It was designed in such a way that both of us try it and come off it anytime we liked. But were we, or rather, was I emotionally detached?

I wish.
But I was almost prepared for it, in a way that I wasn't for my previous relationships, okay, relationship. Largely due to this epiphany I had while talking to a friend. (I've had too few... epiphanies I mean, not friends)
He had just split up with someone and feeling very suicidal; into drugs and alcohol and all that good stuff. He had to be hospitalized. I met him there.

"God. I cannot sleep." he said "Like when I close my eyes I see her"
"I can relate." I say "But do you think she thinks of you ever? Has she even called since you've been here?"
"um no"
"Why then should you do it?"
"She must be busy or something." He said (Phew these people)
"Listen mate. You were going to kill yourself for her. If she's too busy to care, I think you should rethink your priorities. "

I am a natural therapist. People just come up to me and start telling me their troubles. And I give them excellent advice. Only problem. I don't follow them myself. This time I listened to what I was saying. Wait, all this is familar. I have been there. Not to the extent of killing myself, certainly. But taking myself too seriously in this relationship that wasn't headed anywhere- from the very beginning. Yep that's me.

She's an excellent person and great fun to be with. However I treasure her more as a friend than a ... yeah I'm rationalizing.

I still to grapple with the why question though. The excuse reason that she gave me was just too frivolous and lame. The previous day I had talked to her on the phone; something we do rarely. Maybe I turned out to be too stupid for her. Or maybe it was my penchant for knock-knock jokes. Perhaps I shared too many of them. Or maybe it was my guitar playing, it must've been too cheesy for her. Or perhaps it was the fact that she's going to this über-cool American University (albeit not very close to me), and she didn't want a long-distance relationship lugging her when she could be meeting other über-cool guys. What I'm trying to understand is of course the meaning of it all and I've subscribed to a half-baked notion that is a combination of all the above factors. Healing is on its way.

I'm like the guy who always comes before the perfect guy (*hint* *hint*). So I hope she'll be happy with Him. Oh, wait. That is the point of the perfect guy right? I hope He will be happy with her... which is more doubtful. (Tongue firmly in cheek)

"If she's gone, I can't go on,

Feeling two foot small...

Hey you got to hide your love away."

-The Beatles

(my ultimate guide to all things amoristic)

It's magic...

Google is such a wonderful conversation opener. It does these great things that leave you gasping. When Google released spreadsheets, an excel like application, which can be accessed through the internet. It was just a beginning to what could be done through the internet. Now Google has released Writely, a similar application that works like Word. Well released is not the word because Writely was independently developed, the best part is that Google now provides them with the required server space. Both these can be accessed remotely, i.e from anywhere on the planet with an internet connection. The best part, you can allow others to edit your documents- in real time.
Internet is all about magic. There are days when I'm tired of seeing the same things over and over again. And then there are days where I find tremendous amounts of magical stuff just strewn around. Librarything is one of those utterly simple yet powerful tools you find around on the internet. It is a book catalog site. Personally, the bookcase of any home is what attracts me. So here's a site that allows you to do just that. Online.

Audio message

Here’s a diatribe speech of a Harvard Psychology professor. It is hilarious, interesting and informative. You must listen to it if you can shell out 50 minutes. And it is invitingly titled “How to Do Precisely the Right Thing at All Possible Times”.

Quick Tip: you can right-click, choose save target as- save it onto your computer transfer it to your iPod or mp3 player and listen while on the move if you choose to.

Audio Link

Poetry in Motion

Two poems: Recited and animated.



Edit:Direct Link to video

11th Commandment continued...

The Internet always fills me with wonder. Its simplicity and reach is amazing. Although, it's not always for the good as TPF eloquently says in this post, but it is important to note that Internet has become what it is because of the element of choice.

This is where Net neutrality comes in. Which itself is a new word. It didn't get a wikipedia article until late last year. Hell, it was coined just in 2005. But if it's not enforced it may certainly change the Internet as we know it. Here's a video, which I think makes the whole concept clear.

Now, combine commercialization with stupid politicians. We have a dear 82 year old Senator from Alaska, Ted Stevens who gave this awe-inspiring speech.

Excerpts: "I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?" (he meant e-mail right?)

"They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.
It's a series of tubes.
And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."

Audio link to the whole speech. It's hilarious trust me. Um, and foreboding.

11th Commandment: Ask not for things you knowth not a shit about.

That was Stephen Colbert interviewing Representative Lynn Westmoreland. God, how can Colbert maintain that straight face?

Change...

Change as you very well know... for the sake of change.

The Irony of Everything and Silicon.

I never bought the whole conspiracy thing. That is, unless I'm using a computer. The computer is your enemy. It is designed specifically to hurt you and to give you results that are totally unexpected.
And it KNOWS. For example it KNOWS when you've the big term-paper due so that it can throw tantrums and crash. It KNOWS when you call up the uber-cool software guy to come to your home and fix it up and you find it running smoothly like a Lamborghini on airplane fuel.
"But, but, there was something wrong with it just yesterday... I couldn't finish my paper. It really wasn't working yesterday, believe me." And you end up paying for the uber-cool software guy's time and gas anyway (was he driving that Lamborghini too?).
I work at the University computer lab, which is nice... I get to have Internet gratis during the free hours. So technically, I'm being paid for being online. Though, sometimes people come to me for help. Uh, oh.
This girl had some trouble with her powerpoint presentation which wasn't showing up as she wanted it to show up. I went there not at all sure whether I could help her in any way. I just go there and tinker around with display settings (so that in the end I could just shrug and say that I tried my best... one's got to do something you know.) And I refresh the page and voilà it turns out exactly the way she wants.
"Wow, you're good" she says.
I shrug and say "Aww.That was nothing. Do it all the time."

Wonder if the uber-cool software guy has the same travails with his personal computer?

I'm so tired..

... of not blogging.
Anger, that's what I felt towards the whole world one fine day and decided that it could do without my opinions and rambling I said. Deleted my blog, and kept quiet for a while, and then noticed that the world wasn't noticing. Not fair, I cried.
I asked this pretty friend of mine if she'd like to blog with me. The whole c0-authorship thingy you know. Found that she didn't give two hoots either. Not fair, again. So I slumped back.
Then one weekend I went to what used to be my cosy corner on the internet.... and surprises of surprises. Yonkers Dog Day Care of all the holy bamboozles. What were they doing littering my corner? Shoo. I love dogs and all and they deserve as much day care as we do (or did), but I certainly don't want them marking off their territory their own special way. Which I noticed they had done already. That was the last straw. Stupid gits. So not fair.
And then I reconsidered starting off with something named like flamingbananas or footrolls (which could be read as either foo-trolls or foot-rolls by the way; though don't ask me what they mean). But after some thought I decided to stay with defenestrated ego. I'm quite attached to that name. I'd so name my child something like that. Though my new avatar comes with a hyphen. Now it's more understandable I guess.
Lots of things to talk about. I'm teeming with things. Romance, tornadoes, Summer schools, psychiatric hospitals not necessarily in that order. Sometime later. This poodle has run off with my slippers.