Pfffft

Pfffft that's right. That's the noise soccer balls make when you remove the air from them. All I can say is that the whole journey thing was a disappointment.

"There was no chemistry" she said, which when translated into understandable English means that she didn't find me attractive. Sigh, no I won't complain. I won't wallow in self-pity. From what OJ said to me, when I told her about the whole thing, was that I had gotten off easy. She had expected this. Truly speaking, I got over it completely, only after listening to her. Boy, I really was lucky.

The entire thing can be divided into three stages and was alarmingly like a combination of a James Joyce short story and Bollywood:

First stage- Shock

I got off the bus. We both were on the phone, actually looking forward to meeting each other (gasp). After a little bit of mis-communication we actually saw one another across the street. It wasn't New York, but it was surprisingly similar. Crosswalk. Random people all around. The red hand that commanded us to stop where we were.Both of us on the phone on either side of the street- both of us perhaps wondering, "Gosh, that face doesn't go with the voice". Finally the white man, beckoning us to cross. I did. She hugged me, more because she felt she had to, rather than an overwhelming feeling to hug. I went along. Imagine my predicament. I had been on the bus and seedy bus stations for the past 16 hours; deprived of sleep and proper nourishment ( I refuse to count Burger King as being nourishment at all) and she squeezes the heart out of me. Well, it was expected- a hug, typical Bollywood style. Notice that I emphasize Bollywood, only because she hates it. How could she? I know.

We try to strike conversation... we fail miserably. As I had divined, we were subconsciously looking for the green button (the one that signals that the other person is online on gtalk) and felt uneasy in the real world. Or maybe it is because of my apparent lack of any sort of social skills. We amble along while I slovenly try to manage my bag. I was giving the wrong signals from the very beginning.

Second stage- getting used to

We reached her dorm. I started messing her room in my own creative way. I suppose she didn't like that. I imagine she tried looking for things to like in me, but failed.

"Gosh he's not as tall as I'd like him to be, but at least he's thin."

"His hair is messy, why doesn't he ever comb it? I hope he takes regular baths at least."

"But he's too thin... golly, I quit."

I must confess that I too was thinking something on the same lines but wouldn't dare confess them, as she reads this blog too. However, I tried my best to suppress them. I was lying to myself. I wanted this to happen. I had invested a lot of time and money into this... this couldn't couldn't go down the drain.

Third stage- rejection

Finally, on the second day she gave me the pink slip (she hates pink, by the way, trying to be unique, I guess). We swore to remain friends. I must say that we had maximum fun only after the relationship part was done with. We went for a movie- 'The Fountain'. We didn't quite understand most of it, but we were totally amazed by it. Aronofsky's mind is a beauty spot. And the entire night we were just frolicking and having a good time.

I must say that we did have fun.

We had coffee together on the last day. Espressos. She knows that I wasn't the right person for her, I now know for sure (with the help of OJ of course) that she wasn't the right person for me. But we shall remain friends. But I must confess it still hurts at times. And when it does I sing my favorite "rejection song".

Burt Bacharach / Elvis Costello Lyrics - I'll Never Fall in Love Again Lyrics

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What do you get when you fall in love?
A diamond pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you kiss a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, she'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you give your heart
You get it all broken up and battered
That's what you get, a heart that's shattered
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

And I repeat... at least until tomorrow. God we're like moths.

Edit: Just in case my immense fan-following missed these comments by my ex-luscious-lovely

Bhavya:
lol..my dear dear (friend) Nitin. count on me to avoid cliches. unfortunately a woman's "no" really is a no. i mean, i even asked your magic 8 ball, and the answer to the question was "my sources say no"... all the signs...im eagerly awaiting your next post, infact, id like to propose inserting my email adress in it. just in case your friends want to send me some delicious hate mail. and hun, be nice to me.
and
Bhavya:
oh. and i couldnt resist.
dint i give you a new understanding of the word "dulcet"? lol.. we have inside jokes.

I have no comments to make... except to say that when I checked my magic-8 ball (who's called Joey by the way, and helps to make all my life and death decisions) he said "my sources say no" to me too. He's right and he's verifiable.

Teaser Tryst

You might remember this post on my brief taste-test with romance. I burnt my tongue and threw the cup away. It was still a good cup, I didn't know at the time.
The post was written just before she came to the US. By this time I had totally given up all hope that this was going to work. That 'we' would work. For, if there is one thing that I have learned from life- a woman's no is a no.... However hard I might try to 'win' her back, it wasn't going to work.
She came here. We talked on the phone. At first, customary, friendly chats, which slowly got longer. Then, a guy tried hitting on her and it struck her that she actually cared for me. Cared a lot.
Sigh.
Although. it was initially a shock when she told me; she being so sweet, the dulcet (the fact that the word 'dulcet' is actually an adjective and I have used it as a noun has nothing to do with this post. Ever heard of poetic license?). It wasn't really hard to fall for her- again. Consequently, our phone conversations became longer. Understand that even if we talked for hours on end (even though, they seemed like few minutes at the time) we were not incurring any costs because weekends and weeknights are free.
Last night, my aunt called me upstairs in her most menacing voice. I ran upstairs. She waved the phone bill in front of my face and asked me what it meant. I stared at her... what did this mean?
Apparently, I had used almost 3000 minutes. She had a problem with that even though it was free. You must understand that I'm not an obsessive talker, on the phone or otherwise. In fact, couple of months ago, my uncle was actually angry at me because I had only used 7 minutes the entire month. So it was a significant leap... and I'm the master of understatement.
But we are still not 'going out', technically. She feels that she can't effectively handle a distance relationship.
This Thanksgiving, I'm going to be meeting her. We decided to not use clichés such as 'rendezvous' or some such to describe our tryst. So we settled on "teaser", for this is going to be a sneak preview of what 'we' might be like.