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Thursday, January 18, 2007

A post, an excuse and a reason.

Yeah, yeah. I know... boo.
I said that I wanted to post every single weekday because that was my new year resolution and I wanted to hit the ground running when the new year started. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that because well... that's what this post is about.
You might remember this girl whom I went to meet three states away, which finally turned into a disaster. We had put the whole relationship thing behind us, basically. We were good friends before, and we could certainly remain good friends in the future, right?
Wrong.
Apparently, I was forgetting one of my own favorite quotes- "Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship -never." (Charles Caleb Colton)
We still talked (not for 3000 minutes anymore, but still), and refused to bring up the 'what-might-have-been'.
A friend suggested that I must stop talking to her. But I really couldn't do that. This girl has been my friend ever since I came to the US. We used to talk for 5 or more hours on average, daily; over the Internet. I had never seen her before, but hell, she knew more about me than many of my closest relatives did. Point is, I really couldn't afford to stop talking with her.
But the relationship is still off limits. And I really didn't want to act like a jerk and bring it back up like all those ex-husbands do. One thing I've learnt from life is that- 'a woman's no is a no'. And also 'trust a woman to be as unpredictable as possible".
So, one night I call her, nothing out of the ordinary. It's just eight, so there was no way in hell she would be sleeping now (it was just not her nature). It turns out, she was sleeping- taking a nap. I decided to hang-up, but she insisted that she was fine and that we could talk.
So, since she was sleeping, and mostly sleepy, I decided to apologize for one thing that I had done right after the relationship had ended. Which, of course brought us to the topic of relationships again .
It was then she said that, she (still) had feelings for me.
"Dude, you're sure you're not making a serious mistake?" I ask
I'm absolutely sure that she's mistaken me for someone else. Because this can't be possible... this same girl has dumped me thrice before. Never giving a reason.
She continues to talk, but I don't understand most of what she's talking about, as she's mumbling. So I told her to think carefully and bade her goodnight.
Next morning, when we talked, she asked whether I had called yesterday. I said yes. Then she asked me what we were talking about, because she couldn't remember a thing. I say, I don't either because you were sleepy and just mumbling on the phone. You might've been cursing me for all I know.
The whole relationship thing never came up again. My theory was right after all.
Then she went on vacation with her brother. She had a lot of fun and we didn't speak that often. I called her on her birthday. Her brother picked up the phone. Her brother hates me, by the way, because I spent 3 days with his sister, alone and unsupervised (and in case you're wondering, no, we didn't do the unmentionables).
The brother and I were coldly civil to each other on the phone. He tells me that he'll tell her to return the call. She doesn't. I call her the next night and she says that her brother suggested that we should stop talking now. I ask her whether it was something she wants to do too. She tries to act all democratic and in turn asks me whether I want to do it. I discern that she does want me to say yes... and so I did.
Now, you'd think that it's easy to stop talking to a person. But this was one person with whom I'd shared so much. Everything reminded me of her.
Snow, coffee, ice-skating (she skates amazingly, I barely plod along), basketball (again, she's the basketball player), math (she). Two of the movies I watched were located in Michigan (where she goes to school). Hell, I'm writing this post in Jdarkroom (to write with the minimum of distractions) which has a color scheme of green and black- her favorite combo (a screenshot ).
So the point is (finally) that I was totally unable to concentrate on anything for the last 2 weeks. Good thing it was also the vacation.

PS: And B Dear, if you ever read this and find something wrong, it's because some details are hazy (you'd call that an improvement.) You still are the most beautiful person I've ever met.

7 comments:

Sophia said...

Wow. This post had me glued to every word. Gripping. I felt like I just turned on a new soap that I've never watched before but am now addicted to.

I definitely don't think it's easy to stop talking to a person. No siree.

Keep us, er, posted.

Panacea said...

Sigh, I agree this whole story is exactly like a soap. Nitin dear, if you do decide to become a director one day you have a ready plot.

And we really need to find you some new eye candy :)

niTin said...

Crap... Blogger deleted my own comment to Sophia's um, comment.
Luckily for all of us, it at least got forwarded to my mail...
>>>Sophia
This could only mean one of two things... either my life is that of an usual angst ridden teenager or I write well enough for it to seem like one. I really don't think it's the second one.

>>>Pan
Yes. I really need some new eye candy. My attention is alarmingly moving to the fairer section of the population that is not female.

Sophia said...

Nitin: You write well enough. You write well enough. And even if your life is that of an angst-ridden teenager, it's all material for great art. Your talent is in formulating your thoughts in a way that the story even appeals to a seasoned woman in her 30s, like moi.

niTin said...

Thank you Sophia, that really means a lot to me.

asdfghjkl; said...

"DISCERN!!!".... youre SO wrong. and its really unfair the way youve twisted this in your sorry favor. you refuse to think of how much I would miss our entretiens. you DELETE me from everything. that was a sweet thing to do. i would not have even stumbled on to this page if it wernt for my Periodical Review of Bookmarks. the nerve.

niTin said...

Dear asdf... (nothing like a glissando on the keyboard to display aggression eh?)
Anyhoo. Methinks you've never been a guy who's been dumped. This is what we do. I'm sure if I glanced through your secret-diaries, I'd find unpretty refrerences to me.
Do I care. Not a bit.
And one other thing. As flattered as I am to have you return to my blog, please delete it from your periodical review. I hate to give up my readership, but we had decided not to communicate right?