Reasons to love new york

I just found this piece detailing various reasons to love New York. I love all of them especially the fact that people are so packed together that voyeurism can be done at any time anyplace.Lovely

Christmas Morning Post

'Tis Christmas morning.
What I could leave you with is today.
I can't think of anything better than this video

Okay people... You know what to do.

Today is Global Orgasm Day (link is moderately safe for work and dignity). Go ahead. It's for a good cause. No really.

Exams are over.

Exams are over.
A semester is over.
Time to write a post.
Rather, why don't I start a series of posts. These will be called "The Finale Series", where I will be writing about all the things that happened during this semester which I didn't find time to write about. I will also be writing about things that might happen to me in my present life. I plan to update this every week day. So let's hope I succeed. Boo, if I don't.

Pfffft

Pfffft that's right. That's the noise soccer balls make when you remove the air from them. All I can say is that the whole journey thing was a disappointment.

"There was no chemistry" she said, which when translated into understandable English means that she didn't find me attractive. Sigh, no I won't complain. I won't wallow in self-pity. From what OJ said to me, when I told her about the whole thing, was that I had gotten off easy. She had expected this. Truly speaking, I got over it completely, only after listening to her. Boy, I really was lucky.

The entire thing can be divided into three stages and was alarmingly like a combination of a James Joyce short story and Bollywood:

First stage- Shock

I got off the bus. We both were on the phone, actually looking forward to meeting each other (gasp). After a little bit of mis-communication we actually saw one another across the street. It wasn't New York, but it was surprisingly similar. Crosswalk. Random people all around. The red hand that commanded us to stop where we were.Both of us on the phone on either side of the street- both of us perhaps wondering, "Gosh, that face doesn't go with the voice". Finally the white man, beckoning us to cross. I did. She hugged me, more because she felt she had to, rather than an overwhelming feeling to hug. I went along. Imagine my predicament. I had been on the bus and seedy bus stations for the past 16 hours; deprived of sleep and proper nourishment ( I refuse to count Burger King as being nourishment at all) and she squeezes the heart out of me. Well, it was expected- a hug, typical Bollywood style. Notice that I emphasize Bollywood, only because she hates it. How could she? I know.

We try to strike conversation... we fail miserably. As I had divined, we were subconsciously looking for the green button (the one that signals that the other person is online on gtalk) and felt uneasy in the real world. Or maybe it is because of my apparent lack of any sort of social skills. We amble along while I slovenly try to manage my bag. I was giving the wrong signals from the very beginning.

Second stage- getting used to

We reached her dorm. I started messing her room in my own creative way. I suppose she didn't like that. I imagine she tried looking for things to like in me, but failed.

"Gosh he's not as tall as I'd like him to be, but at least he's thin."

"His hair is messy, why doesn't he ever comb it? I hope he takes regular baths at least."

"But he's too thin... golly, I quit."

I must confess that I too was thinking something on the same lines but wouldn't dare confess them, as she reads this blog too. However, I tried my best to suppress them. I was lying to myself. I wanted this to happen. I had invested a lot of time and money into this... this couldn't couldn't go down the drain.

Third stage- rejection

Finally, on the second day she gave me the pink slip (she hates pink, by the way, trying to be unique, I guess). We swore to remain friends. I must say that we had maximum fun only after the relationship part was done with. We went for a movie- 'The Fountain'. We didn't quite understand most of it, but we were totally amazed by it. Aronofsky's mind is a beauty spot. And the entire night we were just frolicking and having a good time.

I must say that we did have fun.

We had coffee together on the last day. Espressos. She knows that I wasn't the right person for her, I now know for sure (with the help of OJ of course) that she wasn't the right person for me. But we shall remain friends. But I must confess it still hurts at times. And when it does I sing my favorite "rejection song".

Burt Bacharach / Elvis Costello Lyrics - I'll Never Fall in Love Again Lyrics

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you get when you fall in love?
A diamond pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you kiss a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, she'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you give your heart
You get it all broken up and battered
That's what you get, a heart that's shattered
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

And I repeat... at least until tomorrow. God we're like moths.

Edit: Just in case my immense fan-following missed these comments by my ex-luscious-lovely

Bhavya:
lol..my dear dear (friend) Nitin. count on me to avoid cliches. unfortunately a woman's "no" really is a no. i mean, i even asked your magic 8 ball, and the answer to the question was "my sources say no"... all the signs...im eagerly awaiting your next post, infact, id like to propose inserting my email adress in it. just in case your friends want to send me some delicious hate mail. and hun, be nice to me.
and
Bhavya:
oh. and i couldnt resist.
dint i give you a new understanding of the word "dulcet"? lol.. we have inside jokes.

I have no comments to make... except to say that when I checked my magic-8 ball (who's called Joey by the way, and helps to make all my life and death decisions) he said "my sources say no" to me too. He's right and he's verifiable.

Teaser Tryst

You might remember this post on my brief taste-test with romance. I burnt my tongue and threw the cup away. It was still a good cup, I didn't know at the time.
The post was written just before she came to the US. By this time I had totally given up all hope that this was going to work. That 'we' would work. For, if there is one thing that I have learned from life- a woman's no is a no.... However hard I might try to 'win' her back, it wasn't going to work.
She came here. We talked on the phone. At first, customary, friendly chats, which slowly got longer. Then, a guy tried hitting on her and it struck her that she actually cared for me. Cared a lot.
Sigh.
Although. it was initially a shock when she told me; she being so sweet, the dulcet (the fact that the word 'dulcet' is actually an adjective and I have used it as a noun has nothing to do with this post. Ever heard of poetic license?). It wasn't really hard to fall for her- again. Consequently, our phone conversations became longer. Understand that even if we talked for hours on end (even though, they seemed like few minutes at the time) we were not incurring any costs because weekends and weeknights are free.
Last night, my aunt called me upstairs in her most menacing voice. I ran upstairs. She waved the phone bill in front of my face and asked me what it meant. I stared at her... what did this mean?
Apparently, I had used almost 3000 minutes. She had a problem with that even though it was free. You must understand that I'm not an obsessive talker, on the phone or otherwise. In fact, couple of months ago, my uncle was actually angry at me because I had only used 7 minutes the entire month. So it was a significant leap... and I'm the master of understatement.
But we are still not 'going out', technically. She feels that she can't effectively handle a distance relationship.
This Thanksgiving, I'm going to be meeting her. We decided to not use clichés such as 'rendezvous' or some such to describe our tryst. So we settled on "teaser", for this is going to be a sneak preview of what 'we' might be like.

Getting my foot In-dore

This post is an honest and exact representation of a dialog I had with my aunt.
Aunt: Shirley Auntie called today. She asked about you.
Me: Really? That's nice of her.
Aunt: She asks of you often.
(Silence for a while)
I think it's nothing. I've known Shirley auntie since I was a little kid.
Aunt: Shirley Auntie told you not to run after any girls. Her elder sister has a daughter who's studying nursing in Indore. She says that the girl is quite pretty.
Me: gasp. What?
Auntie: You heard me. Shirley Auntie's asked for your email address

Who is this girl? She could be a yahoo-using non-entity for all I care. But who cares about my opinion?
Hmph. But there's something so very convenient about arranged marriages. And if it doesn't work out... you could always blame your parents.

Baz Luhrmann's- You're Free (to wear sunscreen)

I lurrve this song. Totally.

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Movie criticisms w/o plots

There are certain movies that just push the boundaries of your definitions. Before Friday if someone had asked me whether I have a "best movie I hate"? I'd have just given the person my best frosty-nosed look. On Friday, I watched "Requiem for a Dream". I watched the movie alone, at around 2 am with ear phones. And it scared the shit out of me. Seriously. I had to call a friend (inspite it being 4:30 in the morning) after watching the movie to calm my nerves. It wasn't essentially horror ( I actually find "horror" flicks cheesy) but it was scary nonetheless. It was fantastically done, with fine acting and an excellent plot/storyline. The movie was quite normal in most ways... the usual sex, the usual violence.
I just had to examine why this movie elicited such a response and found that this movie lacked hope. Most Hollywood movies, even tragedies, give some sort of hope in the end - at least to somehow convey that nothing worse will happen. But not this one. It was just one downspiral.

On Sunday, a couple of friends and I went to watch Don. Trust Bollywood to keep you entertained, I mean really entertained. It is actually a remake of an old movie. As far as remakes go, I'm not too keen on them. But since the former one was done by the inimitable Amitabh Bachchan, and the new one by Shahrukh Khan, I mean the Shahrukh Khan (lovingly called SRK), I had to watch the movie.
The movie wasn't an exact phot0copy though, it really was refreshingly different. I loved it for its own merits. SRK is old though. His face all plastered up. But his energy is just breathtaking.

I went with a couple of friends of my cousin. There was a lady in front of him, and he couldn't really see the screen properly. So we acted like pricks, made loud noises, rang each other on the cell phones till she got up and left. Pack mentatility. But it was so snappy to act like a teenager. I'd so hate teenagers when I grow up, oh wait, haven't I?

I re-meme-ber

Yes, yes I know. Dear Pan tagged me for a meme. The problem is that I don't use iTunes (I don't normally jump onto the Brandwagon you see) or any other software that actually counts the number of times I play a song. Sad, I know.
So I just needed to take a week or two to check for myself the songs that I really repeat and play, and what I could glean from my now defunct last.fm account and from my Creative Zen.
Furthermore, I feel I must say something about my music history. Back home when I lived with my parents, I didn't have an internet connection to talk of. And neither did I have decent music. My mother, you see, thought that English music was from the spawn of the devil and didn't allow any in the house. I found a way to keep in touch with the world through a couple of good hearted friends who were nice enough to lend me their CDs. Now CDs were contraband in our school and that was the only place we could actually meet and exchange stuff. But we did them anyway. We hid CDs on top of AC's and behind Display Board Charts, somehow got it home. At home they would always be kept within the text book covers. Ha, we were devious little devils as you can imagine.
So now on with the meme.

10. Sting-Stolen car
For some reason, I just love this song. Catchy.
9. Rabbi Shergill- Bulla Ki Jaana, Jugni and other random songs.
He's a Punjabi singer. Okay I don't know Punjabi, and no that doesn't make me any less Indian. His lyrics are Sufi (the translations are readily available online anyway) and his style is like Bruce Springsteen's. Could you really ask for more?
8. A.R Rahman- Random songs including (especially) Tamil ones.
Now, I don't quite know Tamil either, but it's the music that totally gets you. Music director/singer/ lyricist par excellence...
7. Alain Souchon- C'est déjà ça
French. Need I say more?
6. Andrea Bocelli- The entire Amore album especially, Pero te Extrano, Mi Manchi and Somos Novios. Again I don't know Italian. Whatever.
5. Burt Bacharach- Depending on my romantic situation either "What the world needs now is love" or "I will never fall in love again"
4. Neil Young- Heart of Gold
Classic.
3. The Shirelles- Will you still love me tomorrow?
"Tonight you're mine, completely...
but will you love me tomorrow"
Everytime I listen to this song I hope it will be yes... but I get the feeling that it won't be.
2. Beatles- Many many songs.
1.75 Sigur Rós- Ágætis Byrjun
Out of this world.
1.5 Amr Diab- Habibe and Tamally ma'ak
Arabic Pop. Lovely
1.25 Yanni- All. Especially Marching Season
1. Pehla Nasha: Catchy bollywood romantic number...

Pehla nasha, pehla khumaar
(First intoxication, first spirit)
Naya pyaar hai, naya intezaar
(This is a new love, a new longing)
Kar loon main kya apna haal
(What should I do with my state)
Ae dil-e-beqaraar
(Oh restless heart)
Mere dil-e-beqaraar, tu hi bata
(My restless heart, show me)

see?

Now that I have somehow finished the list, I can think of gazillions other songs I seem to listen to all the time. Sigh. Some other time, some other meme perhaps.

Edit: I just noticed the stark absence of any songs from my "mother-tongue".

Those garage bands actually have a point

Ever since Google bought the old garage where it made its humble beginning, I have been thinking about garages.
American garages are strange places. The first time I came here I was so surprised to find that people actually parked their cars out in the open, and kept all their junk in the garage. Pah, Americans, I would sigh. Yet, garages seem to be the breeding ground for all things ingenious. Bill Gates built his empire from one. And I can certainly think of many bands that began in teenagers' garages. And now Google.
So let us all stop school and shack up in our garages. Finish that novel that's been tinkering around in our head for a while, perfect the programme that could change the world, improve those guitar riffs, anything. Anything that would eventually make billions. I can think of a couple of things to do with billions, can't you?

It's testy-terone baby.

I watched "The Departed" today. No, don't close the window, no spoilers I promise.
As I was leaving the theatre, I heard this woman explaining to her friend on the phone- "It had a lot of violence, it was like the Godfather" I think that is apt enough. I've always loved the idea of twin foils: one reason I lurved "Tale of Two Cities". It was very interesting to watch the psychological aspect of not having an identity of one's own and living in a delusional world that could be very hostile to their very existence.
Bah. Whom am I kidding? We watch movies to see blood... lots of it spilling and splattering and splashing all over the screen- randomly. And for the sex, with "Comfortably numb" playing in the background... how can I not like this movie?
Matt Damon is utterly cute as the bad guy. But he's easily surpassed by Jack Nicholson. I don't think he's played the villian since Batman. Nicholson is just sexay.
I can't understand why "nice guys" complain that the girls are always attracted to the "off-color guys". Well of course they are, what do you expect? Who wants a weepy stable guy? Gimme an unpredictable, capricious "bad boy" any day. Only creeps and nerds would be attracted to despicably-hair-styled Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code; Albino Paul Bettany on the other hand... slurp. I could give you thousands of examples... but I will restrain myself.

I'm a fan of Scorsese's works. Entertaining as well as arty. His final frame is worth dying for.

I don't like sugary things anyway.

UNICEF Meeting Two:
I assume my place next to the Sugar Lady I met last week. Duh.
She's obviously okay with it too. At this time I was re-reading "The Great Indian Bores".
"You're always reading. What is this one about?" she asks
"Um, this is written by this Indian editor par excellence. It is about the political situation in India and all. Yep, it's Indian."
"Is it written in Indian?"
"Huh? there is no language called Indian..." then a long lecture about the variety of languages in India.
Then we move out.
I question about her internet habits.
She has never heard of Wikipedia. No, there was no mistake in the previous sentence. She-has-never-heard-of-the-Wiki-pedia. And when I actually tell her about it, she says that it is so random and chaotic, how can it give trustworthy information?
She didn't know the meaning of 'blog'. And she has no email apart from the one furnished to her by the Uni.
Eeps.
Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people look attractive until they speak?

Sugar Lady

I'm not a very fussy person but I like to do good things once in a while. I've been a part of the UNICEF club at our Uni for a while now. Last week was the first club meeting for this semester and there was a new girl. Now we all know that males are programmed to notice and approach new girls. I'm even going to breach the guy code 273 (which states that guys shall not give away, in part or in its entirety, any section of the guy program) and give you a part of it.


ACTION :Girl walks in
IF girl too hot and/or snooty: [[stare]]
IF girl approachable: [[whaddya waitin' for? talk to her, jerk]]

See? It's all inbuilt.
The only problem is that I'm also inherently shy and don't accost girls even when they look approachable.

The president of the club welcomed her and asked for her name.
"Elizabeth" She says

Okay, flashback time.
Just before embarking on this relationship, I invented this girl who'd signed into our club, and kept talking about her. Just testing waters, you know. I'd named her Elizabeth, apparently after Liz Bennet (whom I'll marry, you just wait and see). So anyway, it was a tremendous co-incidence that an Elizabeth who doesn't call herself Beth or Eliza or Liz for that matter, walks into our club.
I take a second-helping of the salad (yeah, yeah we talk about world hunger over lunch... don't we all love ironies?). I carry my book along with me. And then I do something I've never done before. I suavely walk and sit right next to her. I act as the "host" and ask her how she finds our Uni and whether she'd like something to eat. She replies graciously. We chat for a while. She asks about the book I'm holding. It was David Plotz's "The Genius Factory". The basic premise of the book is the history of a sperm-bank that allowed only Nobel Prize winners to submit. I'm not sure whether sleazy masturbating scientists make an excellent topic for an ice breaker, but it sailed our boat quite well. Then the meeting starts.
After we're done with our lunch, we broke off in groups to spread word about our club. Basically, writing chalk messages all around the campus. Vandalism and propoganda, does it get better? Elizabeth and I walk around looking for places to chalk. She writes first with her yellow chalk and I form an outline around it with my blue one. At some point, she messed up and she swears- "Oh, sugar"
Good Lord, do people like that actually exist?
I snooped around for this girl, and found that she's not even on Facebook (wiki). It is sort of the Myspace for college students. I cannot think of any other person who's not into Facebook. Will wonders never cease?
From now on, she'll be called the "Sugar Lady".

Oh my! those exclamations.

Punctuations are nice things. You don't have to say them in your mind, like words, yet they perform a very important function in language. We take a mental breather when we see a "." don't we? We tend to furrow our brows and heighten the tone of our inner voice as soon we see "?". And apostrophes and colons and semi-colons all have their very excellent functions. But the exclamation mark... the exclamation mark somehow always gives me the jittery goobles.

Firstly, exclamation marks are so frivolous. Ever received those spam mails with a string of !!!!!!!'s? I mean, whose life can be that good?
There is absolutely no wonder that they use the
exclamation marks as warnings.
Look at that thing. Despicable.

I cannot think of any symbol that is as vain as the exclamation mark. Existing solely to draw attention to itself. How is the patient inner voice supposed to react? With vanity? With passionate emotion (but what emotion?) With sycophantic attention? Or just grovelling indifference?

As you can imagine, I like the question marks. They look cool and curvy. Don't we like curvy things?

What if we changed the question itself?

I have been thinking since this reading meme about the question- "One book you’d want on a desert island?".
That question is so, um, irrealizable. I mean, yes we've read Robinson Crusoe and we, well at least I, imagine that it would be the perfect situation for reading. You curl up on a self-made jute hammock just within the shadow-circle of the palm trees above you.You stroke your untamed mane and beard from time to time (or in case of women; bring the unshampooed hair in front of your eyes, glance at it and sigh). You flip the pages, serenely take a sip from your coconut and feel good about the whole world. But is it even feasible that they'd not have found you before you've spent enough time fretting, in this age of satellites and GPSs and RADARs and other cryptic acronyms? I doubt.

So this question must be changed to "One book you'd want when you're stuck in the elevator?"
or "One book you'd want when you're in the bathroom and the latch refuses to budge ?"
Well, as long as someone is working on the problem and your escape is imminent (in quite near future however) then the question is something we can relate to...

Sigh, Americans.

Which countries are in the Axis of Evil?
I think all of them...
God Bless America

Direct Link

Guten Tag

Just when I'm tidying up this place for somebody's arrival I get tagged to put in a silly picture of myself, by TPF. Well, so be it.

This was a picture taken without my consent (obviously) and it is such a pity that a scandalous thing like it should be circulating the Internet. But well.


So there it is- my table in all its clutterous glory. And my bald head... I'm not like this all the time.

And I know what you're thinking. You're staring at that book in that left hand corner and wondering what it is. Okay, confession time; it is the Da Vinci Code. If you look carefully, however, you'll notice that I'm on Gmail and actually chatting with this person- who said he loved this book. I remember I was chatting with him, discussing the book and actually quoting all the utterly stupid lines. Sadly he still thinks it's good... well some people.

Edit: Almost forgot to tag people. Sophia, Neha and Frankengirl (rise from the dead, FG, we miss you)

Onam.

In middle school, we had our essays pre-prepared. Most of them were about describing a particular festival. They all invariably started with "India is a land of festivals (which is unarguably true) and the most important one is ___" The blank can then be filled according to the region and religion to which you belong. For apart from being a land of festivals, India also happens to be a land of diverse cultures, each having their own sense of identity and strangeness uniqueness and their own set of festivals.
Onam (wikipedia entry) is a harvest festival celebrated by the people of Kerala, the region of India where my parents are from. I'm proud of my culture and language and all, but the fact remains that I'm not even a trifle good at it. I speak my "mothertongue" with a heavy accent, that others find amusing. I tend to use it only when I really, really want something from my mother or when I'm in a scrape, diffuses the situation, you see.
Well, enough about me, on to Onam.
Like all Indian festivals, Onam also has an interesting epic behind it. To cut a long legend short...
Bali was a munificient, pious and ambitious king. So great was his fame that he was called Mahabali (or Bali the emperor). He was willing to give everything he had, to achieve everything he could. He set up a yagna (sacrifice) for which he announced that he would grant the wishes of any subject who came to him. He wanted to please the Gods so that he may achieve dominion over the entire world. (How naïve the people, who make these legends are, ... the entire world indeed; coming from a culture that forbade overseas travel during those times). Well anyway, the king was very near his goal. The gods were jealous and did not want to share something so important with a mortal. So one of them disguised as a beggar dwarf approached Mahabali.
The beggar asked the king for some land.
The king feeling totally benevolent told him that the beggar could have any amount of the choicest lands in any part of the kingdom.
The beggar then asked for three feet of land. (note: feet here is meant literally)
This was the most ridiculous wish ever. The king wondered not so softly what the beggar wanted to do with just three feet of land. And the king after some persuasion granted him the wish.
As soon as he'd done that, the dwarf began to grow. Within no time, one foot was enough to cover the whole land. The dwarf then raised his other leg and that covered the entire sky (the sheer physics of this antic escapes me too). Now the "dwarf" asked where he should go to claim his third and final foot of land.
The king was humbled and said that since he found no place else, the dwarf could place the foot on the king's head. The god was happy and agreed to grant the king one wish before he was going to crush him. The king asked that he be allowed to visit his kingdom every year just in time for spring. This the god granted. Then he crushed the king.
So now it is in time of Onam that this king re-visits the land.

Onam is quite like Thanksgiving, in that it involves a lot of eating. A-lot-of-eating.
Traditionally, it is said that the Onam lunch which is called sadya (it is a synonym of feast in our language- just to give you an idea of scale) is supposed to have as many as 16 different types of dishes, including fiery pickles, crispy pappadums and banana chips, earthy dals, yoghurt, lots of vegetable stews and most importantly a dessert called Payasam. All this is supposed to be eaten on banana leaves with ones fingers- asking for a fork and knife would be just considered impolite. And trust me, it tastes better with the fingers.
Now to go back to the topic of the utterly delectable payasam. It is generally made from sugar, jaggery, milk, rice, zillions of other things and butter... lots of butter. It is, in one word, heavenly.


We usually get new clothes and money to spend on Onam day. The whole family gets together and we all share the work and do our part in preparing the sadya. Onam is also an inter-faith festival- all religions in our region celebrate it. Most importantly, it is a time of joy, unity and abundance. Sigh, sheer abundance.

Reading Meme

Thus I've been finally tagged by Sophia, so here goes.

One book that changed your life: Man's Search for Meaning. An Introduction to Logotherapy, Victor Frankl (incidently, today happens to be his death anniversary; your thoughts and findings still influence us, dear doctor)

One book that you’ve read more than once: Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie. This book has nothing but magic I've read it twice (one of the only books to have that distinction) to see if the magic remained on the second reading and it did.

One book you’d want on a desert island: Survive on a Desert Island by Claire Llewellyn. (Which is kind of obvious, no?)

One book that made you laugh: The Great Indian Bores by Jug Suraiya, Times of India columnist and associate editor. Although, many authors ranging from Eric Frank Russell to Grant Naylor and from Janet Evanovich to PG Wodehouse fit the bill, this is the only book that I truly love for being honestly Indian and bitingly satiric. And this is also the first book that I bought with my own money.

One book that made you cry: The Woodlanders by Thomas Hardy. In fact the only book that made me cry. Unrequited love, endless forests, hopeless romance, this one's got everything.

One book that you wish had been written: The one in my head.

One book that you wish had never been written: The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. I cannot think of any other book that is so ridiculous in its premise and so sinister in its implication at the same time.

One book you’re currently reading: Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters , by Steinbeck. Letters written to editor and friend, Pat Covici, while writing East of Eden, which offer a unique glimpse into the mind of a master and the art of writing.

One book you’ve been meaning to read: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.

And some of my own... for garnish.

One book you own that you don't intend to read. Ever: Ulysses, James Joyce. I don't think I'll ever feel qualified enough to read this book.

One book you never could finish: A book on Church history I was forced to read for Sunday School, for apparent reasons.

One book you love to gift everybody: Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom. This is one of those books whose worth increases as it is shared.

The most boring book you managed to finish: The Tommyknockers, Stephen King. I usually don't have anything against Mr. King. But this book was almost too pointless. Towards the end, I was just struggling to finish the book so that I don't have to add it to my burgeoning list of unfinished books.

Favorite textbook: The War Against The Jews, Lucy Dawidovicz

Sadly, I don't think I know 5 people apart from the ones already tagged.

Pointless Time Waster

I copied and pasted my previous blog post onto Google Translate.
I translated it from English to French,
then from French to German,
and then back to English.
Technically, the result should be the same. Hilariously, it is not. Here goes.

"I tried to find a picture of the notice of this that encapsuates I. Attempts also hard as I, I could not could. I experimented with one of Marlon Brando „a streetcar with the designation demand “, but the sad fact is that I do not seep more fairly with the raw Sexualität than the fact it. And then I found this board completely amazing, i.e., OH of Nancy, rectifies in such a way from me. It does not show Sluggo swimming in the sky and that „not “at the world indicates. I…"

No.

I was trying to find a Display Picture that encapsuates me. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't. I experimented with one of Marlon Brando from "A Streetcar Named Desire", but the sad fact is that I just don't ooze with raw sexuality as he does.
And then I found this utterly amazing Nancy Panel that is, oh, so true of me.
It shows Sluggo floating in the air and saying "No" to the world.
ME...

My romance doesn't need a thing but a reason (...to finally fade away)

I had promised romance (and psychiatric hospitals) in the first post, so here they are.

It was a strange sort of relationship. Long distance. But not exactly an open relationship because, well, we didn't try to date other people during it; at least I didn't- was having enough trouble maintaining this one. So, we called it the "No titles, non derivative," relationship, released of course in the Beta phase (exactly like our dear role model- Google). It was designed in such a way that both of us try it and come off it anytime we liked. But were we, or rather, was I emotionally detached?

I wish.
But I was almost prepared for it, in a way that I wasn't for my previous relationships, okay, relationship. Largely due to this epiphany I had while talking to a friend. (I've had too few... epiphanies I mean, not friends)
He had just split up with someone and feeling very suicidal; into drugs and alcohol and all that good stuff. He had to be hospitalized. I met him there.

"God. I cannot sleep." he said "Like when I close my eyes I see her"
"I can relate." I say "But do you think she thinks of you ever? Has she even called since you've been here?"
"um no"
"Why then should you do it?"
"She must be busy or something." He said (Phew these people)
"Listen mate. You were going to kill yourself for her. If she's too busy to care, I think you should rethink your priorities. "

I am a natural therapist. People just come up to me and start telling me their troubles. And I give them excellent advice. Only problem. I don't follow them myself. This time I listened to what I was saying. Wait, all this is familar. I have been there. Not to the extent of killing myself, certainly. But taking myself too seriously in this relationship that wasn't headed anywhere- from the very beginning. Yep that's me.

She's an excellent person and great fun to be with. However I treasure her more as a friend than a ... yeah I'm rationalizing.

I still to grapple with the why question though. The excuse reason that she gave me was just too frivolous and lame. The previous day I had talked to her on the phone; something we do rarely. Maybe I turned out to be too stupid for her. Or maybe it was my penchant for knock-knock jokes. Perhaps I shared too many of them. Or maybe it was my guitar playing, it must've been too cheesy for her. Or perhaps it was the fact that she's going to this über-cool American University (albeit not very close to me), and she didn't want a long-distance relationship lugging her when she could be meeting other über-cool guys. What I'm trying to understand is of course the meaning of it all and I've subscribed to a half-baked notion that is a combination of all the above factors. Healing is on its way.

I'm like the guy who always comes before the perfect guy (*hint* *hint*). So I hope she'll be happy with Him. Oh, wait. That is the point of the perfect guy right? I hope He will be happy with her... which is more doubtful. (Tongue firmly in cheek)

"If she's gone, I can't go on,

Feeling two foot small...

Hey you got to hide your love away."

-The Beatles

(my ultimate guide to all things amoristic)

It's magic...

Google is such a wonderful conversation opener. It does these great things that leave you gasping. When Google released spreadsheets, an excel like application, which can be accessed through the internet. It was just a beginning to what could be done through the internet. Now Google has released Writely, a similar application that works like Word. Well released is not the word because Writely was independently developed, the best part is that Google now provides them with the required server space. Both these can be accessed remotely, i.e from anywhere on the planet with an internet connection. The best part, you can allow others to edit your documents- in real time.
Internet is all about magic. There are days when I'm tired of seeing the same things over and over again. And then there are days where I find tremendous amounts of magical stuff just strewn around. Librarything is one of those utterly simple yet powerful tools you find around on the internet. It is a book catalog site. Personally, the bookcase of any home is what attracts me. So here's a site that allows you to do just that. Online.

Audio message

Here’s a diatribe speech of a Harvard Psychology professor. It is hilarious, interesting and informative. You must listen to it if you can shell out 50 minutes. And it is invitingly titled “How to Do Precisely the Right Thing at All Possible Times”.

Quick Tip: you can right-click, choose save target as- save it onto your computer transfer it to your iPod or mp3 player and listen while on the move if you choose to.

Audio Link

Poetry in Motion

Two poems: Recited and animated.



Edit:Direct Link to video

11th Commandment continued...

The Internet always fills me with wonder. Its simplicity and reach is amazing. Although, it's not always for the good as TPF eloquently says in this post, but it is important to note that Internet has become what it is because of the element of choice.

This is where Net neutrality comes in. Which itself is a new word. It didn't get a wikipedia article until late last year. Hell, it was coined just in 2005. But if it's not enforced it may certainly change the Internet as we know it. Here's a video, which I think makes the whole concept clear.

Now, combine commercialization with stupid politicians. We have a dear 82 year old Senator from Alaska, Ted Stevens who gave this awe-inspiring speech.

Excerpts: "I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?" (he meant e-mail right?)

"They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.
It's a series of tubes.
And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."

Audio link to the whole speech. It's hilarious trust me. Um, and foreboding.

11th Commandment: Ask not for things you knowth not a shit about.

That was Stephen Colbert interviewing Representative Lynn Westmoreland. God, how can Colbert maintain that straight face?

Change...

Change as you very well know... for the sake of change.

The Irony of Everything and Silicon.

I never bought the whole conspiracy thing. That is, unless I'm using a computer. The computer is your enemy. It is designed specifically to hurt you and to give you results that are totally unexpected.
And it KNOWS. For example it KNOWS when you've the big term-paper due so that it can throw tantrums and crash. It KNOWS when you call up the uber-cool software guy to come to your home and fix it up and you find it running smoothly like a Lamborghini on airplane fuel.
"But, but, there was something wrong with it just yesterday... I couldn't finish my paper. It really wasn't working yesterday, believe me." And you end up paying for the uber-cool software guy's time and gas anyway (was he driving that Lamborghini too?).
I work at the University computer lab, which is nice... I get to have Internet gratis during the free hours. So technically, I'm being paid for being online. Though, sometimes people come to me for help. Uh, oh.
This girl had some trouble with her powerpoint presentation which wasn't showing up as she wanted it to show up. I went there not at all sure whether I could help her in any way. I just go there and tinker around with display settings (so that in the end I could just shrug and say that I tried my best... one's got to do something you know.) And I refresh the page and voilà it turns out exactly the way she wants.
"Wow, you're good" she says.
I shrug and say "Aww.That was nothing. Do it all the time."

Wonder if the uber-cool software guy has the same travails with his personal computer?

I'm so tired..

... of not blogging.
Anger, that's what I felt towards the whole world one fine day and decided that it could do without my opinions and rambling I said. Deleted my blog, and kept quiet for a while, and then noticed that the world wasn't noticing. Not fair, I cried.
I asked this pretty friend of mine if she'd like to blog with me. The whole c0-authorship thingy you know. Found that she didn't give two hoots either. Not fair, again. So I slumped back.
Then one weekend I went to what used to be my cosy corner on the internet.... and surprises of surprises. Yonkers Dog Day Care of all the holy bamboozles. What were they doing littering my corner? Shoo. I love dogs and all and they deserve as much day care as we do (or did), but I certainly don't want them marking off their territory their own special way. Which I noticed they had done already. That was the last straw. Stupid gits. So not fair.
And then I reconsidered starting off with something named like flamingbananas or footrolls (which could be read as either foo-trolls or foot-rolls by the way; though don't ask me what they mean). But after some thought I decided to stay with defenestrated ego. I'm quite attached to that name. I'd so name my child something like that. Though my new avatar comes with a hyphen. Now it's more understandable I guess.
Lots of things to talk about. I'm teeming with things. Romance, tornadoes, Summer schools, psychiatric hospitals not necessarily in that order. Sometime later. This poodle has run off with my slippers.